The paramount importance of self attention-6

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156

Therefore in verse 10 he say that subsiding and beinginthesource from which we rose (which is ourself as we reallyare)is itself karma, bhakti, yoga and jnana, meaning that it isthemost perfect practice of all spiritual paths, which are generallyclassified in four categories, namely karma yoga (thepracticeof desireless action), bhakti yoga (the practice of devotion),raja yoga (the practice of disciplines such as breath-control asameans to control and subdue the mind) and jnana yoga(thepractice of knowledge, which Bhagavan explainedisonlyatma-vicara or self-investigation)

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157

............In order togobeyond thinking our mind must subside, and sinceit rises,stands and flourishes by attending to anything other thanitself,it will subside only by attending to itself, the one whorisestothink anything

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When aspirants start to follow the path of bhakti, theygenerally do so with the idea that God is somethingother thanoneself, so they worship, pray to and meditate on himasifhewere another. However, since God is not other thanourself, wecan never reach him so long as we consider himto beother, sowe eventually need to be told that he is actually just ‘I’, whichis what Bhagavan refers to when he says in verse 8 ‘avanahamahum’, ‘in which he is I’. However, when we are toldthat heis‘I’, what we should infer is not that we should meditateontheidea ‘he is I’, but only that we should meditate on ourself alone.

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As Bhagavan often used to say, why should we meditateonGod as someone distant and unknown when in fact healwaysexists within us and is clearly known by us as ‘I’, our ownself?Since ‘I’ is our nearest and dearest and what we arealwaysclearly aware of, the simplest way and most effective way to love God and to meditateonhim is to love him and meditate on himonly as ‘I’.

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158

.......However, the speedat whichsuch clarity dawns depends on how strong their desiresare,because desires for anything other than self-knowledge(ātmajñāna) are what clouds our mind and thereby obstructstheclarity that naturally shines deep within each one of us.

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Like everything else, time and space are a creation of our mind,and the very nature of our mind is to deceive us. In its abilitytodo so, the mind is indeed an atiśaya śakti (an extraordinaryandwonderful power), as Bhagavan says in Nāṉ Yār?, but it isnotreal, so if we diligently investigate what it is byvigilantlyobserving the ego, the thought called ‘I’, whichisitsfundamental and essential form, we will find that thereisactually no such thing, as Bhagavan teaches us in verse17ofUpadēśa Undiyār: When one investigates the formof themindwithout forgetting, [it will be found that] there is not anythingcalled ‘mind’. This is the direct path for everyoneh  

160

“I am not this body. I amthe onerealawareness that shines blissfully as ‘I’ in the hearts of all livingbeings, beginning with God”. In this unique embodiment ofhis,Bhagavan revealed many subtle truths like this in a freshandrefined manner.

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160

Since webelievedthat sādhu-saṅga (association with a sādhu) meant beinginthebodily presence of a sādhu, we thought that we couldnot havesaṅga with any sādhu whose body was no longer alive. Butnow we have no reason to believe this, because Bhagavanhasexplained to us that he is not a body but is always presentwithin each one of us, so to have his sat-saṅga all we needdoisto turn within and see that he is always shining clearlyinusas‘I’. Since he is not limited to any time or place, his sat-saṅgaisavailable to us always and everywhere

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Question: Is that the significance of saying that jñānacanbeattained just by thinking of Arunachala fromafar?Doesitmean that wherever we may be, just by our attendingtoBhagavan shining in our heart as ‘I’ he will root out our ego?Sadhu Om: Yes, in the first verse of Śrī AruṇācalaAkṣaramaṇamālai he indicates that Arunachala is ‘I’, andwhatever he says about Arunachala applies tohimalso,because he himself is Arunachala, so at any time wherever onemay be, the best way to have sat-saṅga with himis toattendonly to ‘I’. Therefore what he implies in that verse is that ifonemeditates deeply on ‘I’ alone, he will root out one’s ego. Thisis his assurance to us.

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People whose attention is habitually turned outwards tendtoattach undue importance to outward sat-saṅga, becausetheyareunable to see what is happening within. The most importantwork being done by guru does not lie in any outwardforms,actions or events, but only deep within the heart of eachoneofus. Shining within us as the clarity of self-awareness, guruismoulding and preparing us so that we can derive thegreatestbenefit from his outward sat-saṅga, whether in theformofbeing in his bodily presence, which is still available tousintheform of Arunachala, or in the form of associatingwithhisteachings.

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162

......If one is not inwardly prepared and ripe, onewill notgain so much benefit from any form of outward sat-saṅga, butif one’s mind is already to a large extent purifiedandhenceclear, one will very quickly gain the full benefit of outwardsat-saṅga, namely the blossoming of intense love toturnbackwithin and drown forever in Bhagavan, who is the clear light ofawareness that illumines our mind.

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Therefore neither karmas nor vāsanās can actually ever preventus from experiencing self-knowledge (ātma-jñāna), becauseself-knowledge is our real nature, whereas karmas andvāsanāsare just illusory appearances that seemto exist onlyintheviewof the ego that we now seem to be and not in theviewofourself as we actually are. They seemto exist onlybecausehaving risen as this ego we are now looking outwards, but ifwe turn back and look within to see what we actuallyare, theego will disappear along with all its karmas andvāsanās,because it is not what we actually are. Since it rises andstandsonly by grasping outward appearances, it will subsideanddisappear if it lets go of all appearances by trying toseeitselfalone, as Bhagavan says in verse 25 of UḷḷaduNāṟpadu:

Grasping form, the formless phantom-ego rises intobeing;grasping form it stands; grasping and feeding on formit growsabundantly; leaving [one] form, it grasps [another] form. Ifsought, it will take flight. Know [thus].

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If we lack discrimination (vivēka), we will continue toriseandstand as this ego in waking and dream, and whenever wedosowe will project the threefold appearance of soul, worldandGod. However, since we seem to be this ego andthereforeproject such appearances only in waking and dreambut not insleep, we are like a foolish person who instead of shelteringfrom the intense heat of the sun by resting under the shadeofatree, wanders out into the scorching sunshine until hecanbearit no longer, then retreats to the cool shade for a whilebeforeagain wandering out into the sunshine.

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However, we have now been drawn to Bhagavan, soifwefollow the path that he has shown us, our mind will graduallybe purified and thereby we will gain a steadilyincreasingclarity of discrimination, as a result of which we will becomeincreasingly disgusted with this habit of rising as theegoandprojecting this appearance of soul, world and God, andhencewe will reflect: ‘Why should I repeatedly wander out intothescorching sunshine by rising as this ego in wakinganddreamand then return temporarily to the shade of thetreebysubsiding in sleep? Why should I not just remain peacefullyinthe cool and comfort of the shade?’ When our discriminationthereby becomes clear and deeply rooted, we will turnbackwithin and merge forever in our source, and thus wewill

discover that we have always been free to just to be as we are and thereby to stop projectinganyillusory appearances. Our infinite freedomwas onlyseeminglylimited, and what seemingly limited it was our foolishlikingto

wander in the sunshine by projecting the appearanceof soul,world and God. That is, it was seemingly limited onlyduetoour misusing it to see ourself as many instead of as theoneinfinite whole that we actually are, so we are always freetostop misusing it and to remain just as we always are

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165

[Later that day, in reply to another friend who askedhim, ‘Howis the life of a sādhu?’ Sadhu Om said:] Asādhu is likeacloudthat rains its waters directly into the ocean [implyingthat theattention of a real sādhu is always flowing back toits sourceand is never diverted away towards the world].

166

, as Bhagavan implies inverse44of Śrī Aruṇācala Akṣaramaṇamālai: Arunachala, [insilence]you said: ‘Turning back inside, see yourself dailywiththeinner eye [or an inward look]; [thereby] it will beknown’.What [a wonder]!

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169

HoweverBhagavan pointed out that ‘heart’ means the core, centre,interior or innermost part of ourself, as implied by theSanskritterm hṛdaya [which in some cases becomes hṛd or incompoundhṛt], and therefore refers not to any physical place but onlytoour real self. For example, in verse 2 of Śrī AruṇācalaPañcaratnam he explained clearly that what is called‘heart’or‘hṛdaya’ is actually just Arunachala, the infinite spaceof pureawareness, in which this entire world appears anddisappears

like a picture on a cinema screen, and which shines eternallywithin each one of us as ‘I’:

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Red Hill [Arunachala], all this [world-appearance], whichisa[mental] picture, arises, stands and subsides only inyou. Sinceyou dance eternally in the heart as ‘I’, they say your nameitselfis heart. Likewise Bhagavan pointed out that whereas various other hills,holy places and temples are said to be abodes of LordSiva,Arunachala is not merely his abode but he himself. That is, justas the heart is not just the dwelling-place of ātma-svarūpa[ourown real self] but ātma-svarūpa itself, so Arunachala is not justthe dwelling-place of Siva but Siva himself

This isanimportant clue for those who seek to go beyond time andplaceand name and form: though Arunachala seems to beahill, aname and form located in a finite place, it is actuallywhatdances eternally in our heart as ‘I’, the one infinite andhenceformless space of pure self-awareness, which is the real importof the term ‘heart’.

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170

Sadhu Om: So long as we ask for a path to follow, thegurucanonly point us to the path of awareness (cit), ‘Attend toyourself’,or the path of happiness (ānanda) or love (priya), ‘LoveGodorguru, who is yourself’. What all jñānis have taught throughwords is only these two paths, jñāna and bhakti, self-enquiryand self-surrender. Even Dakshinamurti taught only these two paths solongashewas answering the questions of the four Sanakadi sages, butfinally he had to merge back into himself in order toteachthemhow to merge within and just be, which is the pathof being

(sat), and which can be taught only through silenceandnotthrough words. This is why Bhagavan often said that silenceisthe highest teaching, and it is ever going on inour heart,because it is our real nature

To learn what silence is always teaching us, we must turnourentire attention within, for which intense and all-consuminglove is required. That is, without love (bhakti) wecannotfollow the path of jñāna, which is the practice of attendingonlyto ourself, and without attending keenly and persistentlytoourself, we cannot learn what silence is always teachingusinour heart, which is just to be. Therefore the path of love(priyaor ānanda) culminates in self-attention, which is the pathofcit,and self-attention results in just silently being, whichisthepath of sat.

It is only through silence that our real nature canbemadeknown to us, as Bhagavan implies in verse 5 of ĒkāṉmaPańcakam (kaliveṇbā version):

What always exists by its own light is only that ēkātma-vastu[one self-substance]. If at that time the ādi-guru [theoriginalguru, Dakshinamurti] made that vastu known [by] speakingwithout speaking, say, who can make it known [by] speaking?

Likewise, it is only to reveal itself through silence that our realnature is manifested outwardly in the motionless formofArunachala, as Bhagavan explains in verse 2 of Śrī AruṇācalaAṣṭakam: When [the seer] investigated within the mind who theseer is, Isaw what remained when the seer [thereby] becamenon-existent. The mind did not rise to say ‘I saw’, [so] inwhat waycould the mind rise to say ‘I did not see’? Who has thepower

to elucidate this [by] speaking, when in ancient times [even]you [as Dakshinamurti] elucidated [it] without speaking? Only to elucidate your state withoutspeaking, you stood as a hill [or motionlessly] shining[from]earth [to] sky

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And what Arunachala teaches us through silence is just tobe— to stand still without rising as an ego to do anythingbymind, speech or body — as Bhagavan says in verse 36ofŚrīAruṇācala Akṣaramaṇamālai: Arunachala, saying without saying, ‘Stand [stop, stayor remain]without speech’, you just were [without doing anything].

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The path of being (sat) cannot be taught in words, 

becausethenature of this path is no different to the nature of its goal, 

andsince the goal is absolute silence, untainted by the risingoftheego, 

it can be made known only by silence. 

In other words, inthis path there is nothing to be done, 

so there are noexercisesthat can be prescribed. In order just to be, the egodoesnotneed to do anything, and must not do anything. All that isrequired of it is just to die: that is, to subside anddisappearforever.

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172

In verse 27 of Tirutteḷḷēṇam (Śrī Ramaṇa Sannidhimuṟai, 3rdedn, 1974, verse 1578) Muruganar sings that as soonashecame to the presence of Bhagavan, who is sat-tattva(thatwhich actually exists), he died without dying. That is what wemust do in order to just be.

How then are we to die without dying? Since we rise andstandas this ego only by attending to things other than ourself, wecan forever cease rising only by attending to ourself alone, and

for that we must have all-consuming love to surrender ourselfcompletely to him. Therefore the only means to achieveournatural state of just being (sat-bhāva) is to followthetwinpaths of cit and ānanda: jñāna and bhakti, self-enquiryandself-surrender.

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This is what Bhagavan implied in verses 8 and 9 of UpadēśaUndiyār, in which he says that ananya-bhāva (attendingtonothing other than oneself) is the best of all practices of bhakti,and that by the intensity of such self-attention wewill beestablished in sat-bhāva (the state of being), whichis beyondall mental activity

Rather than anya-bhāva [meditation in whichGodisconsidered to be other than I], ananya-bhāva, in whichheis[considered to be none other than] I, is certainly the best amongall [practices of bhakti and varieties of meditation].

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By the strength [intensity, firmness or stability] of [such]meditation [ananya-bhāva or self-attention], being insat-bhāva[one’s ‘state of being’ or ‘real being’], which transcends[all]bhāvana [thinking, imagination or meditation], aloneispara-bhakti tattva [the real essence or true state of supremedevotion].

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Through words the ego can be instructed to attend, look, seek,investigate, see, know, be aware, love, surrender andsoon, butit is only through silence that it can effectively be taught just tobe.

.....173...cont as part 7...