Ramana sahasram-4

 https://archive.arunachala.org/docs/sadhu-om/sri-ramana-sahasram

513) Know that only when the state of Brahma Samadhi,
where there is no speech or thought becomes so
natural to me like that of breathing I shall admit
that Your debt which You have incurred by touching
me through Your eyes is cleared.

514) If You make me reach Your home, the heart why
then shall I need a house to live here? Instead
though You give the whole kingdom of heaven to
rule over, except the shade of Your Feet, it is
nothing but only Your unkindness to me!

533) Graciously think a little about me to make me as
the supreme knowledge itself, devoid of mind, the
maya by the real awakening from this waking
dream through the enquiry ‘Who am I'?

534) Graciously think a little about me to give me the
great enthusiasm to take to the unbroken Self-
Attention with love and the full conviction that
attending self alone is the highest and the best of
all human endeavours.

536) O Annamalai, the great heap of bliss and peace!
Graciously think about me so that I shall live in
Your home of bliss in the form of the supreme heart
space which results, after all the vasanas are swept away.

538) O my father, why the waves of thoughts are still
remaining in the mind of this wretched one, though
I have come across Your divine glance? Have You
not yet gladly thought by Your gracious heart to
swallow me and to make me turn inward?

540) Though You have taught me as clear as the daylight
that ones own Selfconsciousness devoid of
objective knowledge alone is Jnana, I am stumbling
and tottering due to being blinded by the 'I am the
body idea'. Therefore, graciously think to save me.

553) O Jnana Ramana Guru, who has taken the full
responsibility on me (?), if You now abandon me, on
some reasons, I will take birth again, and undergo
unnecessary sufferings. Will it fit You who has
taken me as Your own (slave)?

555) Will it fit You who rose between the two powerful
ego risings - Brahma and Vishnu, as Annamalai and
defeated them, to allow me still to rise as an
individual, different from You, as if 1 am this body?

556) O Guru Ramana, instead of my attaining Your
divine presence which shines as sat-cit-ananda
completely devoid of maya, will it fit You (?) to
allow an 'I' rising (ego-rising) which has the three
gunas (tamas, rajas, and satva)? Does it fit Your
Grace?

564) Is it not that “useful life" means that the mind
should drown into the ocean of heart and lose its
entity in the supreme silence? But You have allowed
my mind to be dragged along by the senses! Is it
only for this that You have given me this body life?

572) Make me still and remain ever as the well
established Jnana of Self-consciousness. Except
You, the Satguru who else can kill the ghostly rise
of my mind and make it never rise again?

.........

614) My mind rises to learn all these worldly arts adn
gets more and more taste. But to get to subsidein
self, the true art, (?) the mind will obey only by Your
power of Grace. It will not subside of it's own
accord.

617) You should shower Your Grace so that the desire to
attend to self changes to love (losing the form of
ego). Gracefully aim at me the Brahmastra to have
strong vichara of 'Who am I'?

622) Conquer my by Your Grace so that I shall never rise
again but drown in the heart once for all! To
complete this big task befall on both of us, kindly
look at me graciously at least for a second by Your
gracious eyes.

623) The nature of my mind bird is such that it always
tries to fly away escaping from my hold and to think
about other things only. Kindly throw - spread Your
net of silence where there is no trace of vasanas of
either name or form - catch the bird making it free
from vasanas and keep it within.

624) O the almighty, if You ordain that "Let Your mind be
pure", my mind which has become dirty due to
filthy (attachment) will glow like a diamond and
become sat-cit-swarupa. "Those who reach
Arunachala, however small the creature be, will get
liberation without any effort (sadhana)". Kindly,
prove these words of Yours by making it true in my
case.

625) Mistaking the body as self is the reason for the
appearance of the world-picture. In order to kill
this false notion put Your Feet in my heart and
dance as "I alone Am".

635) I have no strength of mind to pursue the quest of
the reality, the self. Piercing the heart where the
rising 'I am so and so' subsides and lose my self (?).
I do not know any other sadhana. That day, You had
brought me in Your presence, took over me, what
else You intend to do on me further?

639) To think of that which appears as second and third
person objects (anniya) is waste. To find the source
of the 'I', he who attends the above (objects) is
Tapas. O my Lord who dragged me to Your Feet
only to turn my extroverted nature of the mind to
attend inwards (Ahamukha), please help me to turn
inward.

673) Except by Your gift of Grace, to get the true life of
living established in Heart, to remain as self,
immersed in mouna samadhi (beyond words), fully
detached with the body - there is no other way.

686) What is the use by repeatedly thinking that this
world is a mirage, a falsedream or a trivial thing?
Such a thinking is only an effort made only after the
rising of ego 'I'. What benefit will it bring to me,
unless Your Grace is bestowed upon me.

692) The unshakably (?) strong conviction in me that the
asat (the body) is sat (real existent) does not given
room to realise the truth even a little. Therefore by
Your Grace kindly blossom my heart and reveal the
truth.

700) Only by Your almighty Grace I can achieve the
knowledge of oneness of self. For it is impossible to
attain jnana in any birth merely by the effort of my
petty intellect which is identifying the body as 'I'.

740) I the decitful one, languishing and thinking what
tapas can I do forgetting a life of tapas. Ah! I feat
whether I will spend the rest of my life in the same
useless manner I have spent in the past!

780) Just like magnet attracts iron and retains it, the day
You draw my mind without movement (chalana) by
Your gracious pull, retain in You without getting me
extroverted, is the auspicious day for me.

818) Tell me, is it in vain that all my prayer to You
begging, weeping bitterly on that day for Jnana, the
great desolation - the annihilation of 'I' - which is
the complete achievement of mouna?

819) Is it my fate to waste all the time of my life and die
without drowning and dissolving in You, the
defectless supreme whole? Is there any scarcity of
the fruit of jnana with You to bestow Your bliss
upon me? (?)

892) Is it not Your nature to wake me up from the
original sleep of the forgetfulness of self in which
the dream of this waking state is experienced by an
individual - 'I' which rises, functions ans sets?
Therefore You do the same to me.

924) Until the blossoming of supreme silence of sat-cit-
ananda in which state nothing is experienced as
another 'I', this fool (I) is always be praying to You
unceasingly as 'Give me this, fix me in that state,
unite with me' and so on, making complaint (?).

945) Since my nature is knowing only other things and
not myself. With this I am ruining my self. Make me
experience that my real nature is knowing only self
and not anything else but You ever remaining as my
real nature.

946) The knowledge of my existence is only that I am
this body. This is improper. Destroy this ego
knowledge by Your Grace and You, the one alone
exists as the existence of sahaja nirvikalpa state.

948) With the age old vasana, imagining that there is a
body and at the same time attaching (with desire)
with the body as I am, graciously do not allow the
first person to rise, root it out thoroughly and You
ever shine and be as Jnana.

950) You, the dense supreme experience of self who is
immense and all pervading like the flood of on
ocean without any limit of time and space alone
survive and shine victoriously as 'I'.

951) Ido not wish any more to remain like even a little
bit of ego-shadow, You alone exist and shine as the
real one, by Your Grace in such a manner that the
false 'I' can never rise again.

952) Except You, the one perfect whole (poorna) there is
no other thing existing. Hence, swallow and digest
me, the ego and shine as You alone in such a
manner that the ghostly ego cannot rise at all.

958) The reason for the apparent existence of the five
elements and their physical form is the rising of 'I
am the filthy body’. Be gracious in destroying the 'I'
- the ego, and let the beginning and endless 'You'
and remain as true 'I' and show my unlimited
(Akhanda) own state of bliss.

971) O my Satguru, shall I tell an example to prove the
power of Your Grace? You have named even all the
wrongs done by my petty ugly mind as Sadhanas
and are (?) venturing forward to give me Self-
realisation Your philanthropic (?) compassion is
very strange!

989) O my father who shine and attract me as an
exceptional second person object to remind to me
the first personal feeling! When I think of You as
Arunachala, You shine within me as the one great
feeling of 'T’.

990) Thinking You is nothing but thinking of 'I', thinking
of me is nothing but the state of non-thinking. Even
that is nothing but a vigilant attention of not rising
as an 'I'! Why should then be even having an effort
of attention? For my mere existence is itself
knowing myself.

............end............

Atma vichar patikam 11 verses on SE 
from sadhanai saram pdf 102/127

9. Why is the ego destroyed when we scrutinize
“What am I”? Because this “I”-thought (aham-vritti)
is a reflected ray of Self-consciousness; and thus
unlike other thoughts, which are devoid of consciousness, it is always directly connected with its
source. Therefore, when our attention dives deeper
and deeper within by following this reflected ray “I,”
the length of this reflected ray “I” will diminish until
finally it has shrunk to nothing. When the ego, the
feeling “I am so-and-so,” thus disappears, the consciousness that will remain shining as “I am I” is the
true knowledge of Self.