The paramount importance of self attention-3

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That is, in verse 8 of Upadesa Undiyar Bhagavansaysthatrather than anya-bhava (meditation upon anythingother than‘I’), ananya-bhava (meditation upon nothing other than‘I’) is the best among all forms of meditation. 

What he means by ananya-bhava is only atma-vichara 

[self-investigationor self-enquiry], 

because atma-vicara is the practice of meditatingonlyon ‘I’, 

whereas every other practice involves meditating on or attending to something other than ‘I’.

’. Therefore thoughhesays‘avan aham ahum ananya-bhava’, which means ‘otherlessmeditation in which he [God] is I’, he does not meanthatmeditating on the thought ‘He is I’ (sohambhavana) is ananya-bhava, because that thought is something other than‘I’. Ifweare really convinced that God is ‘I’, we should meditateonlyon ‘I’ and not on any thought about God. However, thoughsoham bhavana is not ananya-bhava, it is at least basedontheconviction that God is not other than ‘I’, so fromthis versewecan infer that it is superior to any meditation in whichG94odisconsidered to be something other than ‘I’.

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However, in verse 32 of Ulladu Narpadu Bhagavansaysthatpractising soham bhavana instead of atma-vicara is ‘duetolack

of strength’ (uran-inmaiyinal).

 Therefore, since practisingevensoham bhavana is due to weakness, practising meditationonGod as if he were other than ‘I’ must be due to evengreaterweakness, so how can any such meditation be saidtogiveourmind the strength it requires to practise atma-vicaraandthereby to abide in its source

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Even in the case of Ramakrishna, his attachment tothenameand form of Kali proved a hindrance, and only becauseofhisexceptional maturity and the grace of Kali was he abletocutthat name and form with the sword of knowledge (jnana).

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However, if anyone practises nama-japa with genuineloveforGod, believing that it will take them to him, their effort will notbe wasted, because after a number of lives the Godwhosename (nama) they have been repeating with love will appear to them in the form (rupa) of guru, who will tell themtoleavesuch futile practices and to practise instead only self-attention.Therefore after we have come to Bhagavan, whyshouldwetrain our minds in any practice other than self-attention?Ifanyone nevertheless wants to practise some sort of japa

(repetition), Bhagavan suggested that the best japa is onlytorepeat ‘I, I’. If you do japa of God’s name, you will seeGod,whereas if you do japa of ‘I’, the name of yourself, youwillknow yourself alone.

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12th February 1978 Sadhu Om: Bhagavan is performing a delicate operationwhichwill radically change our long-accustomed outlookofmistaking a body to be ‘I’ and the world to be real, intotheoutlook that we alone are. If this change were to occur toofast,it would put too much pressure on our mind, upsettingourmental balance, and could either make us insane or evendriveus to commit suicide. But Bhagavan is a very skilledsurgeon,and so he knows the right speed at which to change our outlook.If we are going too fast, he sometimes has to disconnect thecurrent for a while, which he does by makingusfeeldisinterested in practicing self-attention. Therefore weshouldnot be disheartened by such experiences, because theyhappen

for our own good, and he can sometimes use suchperiodsofapparent disinterest to push us right up to the boundary. EvenMuruganar had a similar experience, feeling that hewasahelpless case.

We should always have faith in Bhagavan’s assurancethat weare like the prey in the jaws of a tiger, and that wecantherefore never escape. If we strain too much, we might beobstructing Bhagavan in his work, so he sometimes evenhastoput an end to this life and make us take a newbody. Death,suicide and insanity seem to be big things to us, but tohimtheyare minor events which he uses for our own benefit.

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The culture in India provides Hindus with many outletswhenthe pressure becomes too great. Even before I knewBhagavan,

I used to take days off work just to go to a lonely placetoweepfor God. To have sat-sanga with the right friends canalsobeagreat help during rough periods. Sravana and manana (studyingand reflecting on Bhagavan’s teachings) are alsoveryimportant at such times. They are like a protective fortress.

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When I say that intermittent attempts at self-attentionareimportant, remember that the rests in between are as importantas the attempts. Even if you attend to self for onlyafewseconds at each attempt, these attempts will have their effectunknown to you. Because of these attempts, occasionallyatother times – say in the middle of some work – youwill feelthat you are being automatically reminded of your merebeing,‘I am’, but it is not the mind that is reminding you. It is similarto pricking a banana with a pin: you do not knowhowclosethepin has come to the other side until you prick your hand.

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Doing japa of ‘I’ is helpful for those beginners whoarenotable to recognise that our awareness of ‘I’ (that is, ourawareness that I am) is something that is distinct fromourawareness of our body or any other mental image. Bypracticing japa of ‘I’ they can begin to experiencefor onemoment now and then the awareness of ‘I’ alone. 

Oncetheyrecognise this awareness of their mere existence, theycangiveup their japa of ‘I’ and instead practise simple self-attention.

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‘Summa iru’, which means ‘just be’ or ‘be still’, is thecorrectway of describing self-attention, because self-attentionissimply not attending to anything other than ‘I’, soit doesnotinvolve our attention moving anywhere away fromits source,which is ‘I’. 

The Tamil adverb summa implies not doinganything, because any ‘doing’ or action always involvesattending to something other than ‘I’. When we attendonlyto‘I’, our attention remains in its source, as its source, ‘I am’, so

self-attention is not an action but a state of just being. Inoneofhis verses Arunagirinathar sings in that when Lord Murugatoldhim ‘summa iru’, he ceased knowing anything, whichmeansthat he ceased attending to any second or third person.

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When you correctly attend to self, then no doubts about it will arise, for your self-attention will then be as clear to you as is your present knowledge ‘I am’. 

On the other hand, wecanalsosay that you will never know when you correctly attendtoself,because from that moment all knowing will cease, andbeingalone will remain. Bhagavan once said: Not only is self (atman)that which does not know other things, it is that whichdoesnotknow even itself as ‘I am this’. This idea was recorded by Sri Muruganar in verse831ofMeyttava Vilakkam:

Self does not know not only its own nature but alsoanythingelse. Such a knowledge alone is the real ‘I’.

That is, self-knowledge is a knowledge quite unlike anyotherknowledge, because not only does self not knowitself asanobject of knowledge, but also its knowing itself is not anactionor ‘doing’ but only being. Knowing anything else is anaction,whereas self knows itself just by being itself. Thereforeinverse 26 of Upadesa Undiyar Bhagavan says: Beingself aloneis knowing self, because self is that which is devoidof two[aknowing subject and a known object]. This is tanmaya-nistha[abidance as ‘that’, the absolute reality called brahman].

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.........whereas Bhagavan tells us tohaveanattitude of indifference (udasina bhava) towards all secondandthird persons – to ignore them completely and to attendonlytothe first person

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The first sentence of the first mangalamverse of UlladuNarpadu can be interpreted in several slightly different ways,but they all mean essentially the same thing. It canmean, ‘Ifthere were not something that really exists [which is called‘I’],could there be any awareness of being [which is called‘am’]?’or it can mean, ‘Can awareness of being [‘am’] be other thanwhat is [‘I’]?’ The words ulla unarvu can meaneither‘awareness of being’ or ‘awareness to meditate’, sothissentence can also mean, ‘Other than what is [‘I’] cantherebeany awareness to meditate [on it]?’ Bhagavan wrote thisverseto refute the popular myth in India that it is possible tomeditateupon the reality. Initially he wrote only the last twolines

which mean: 

‘How to [or who can] meditate upon the thing that [really] exists? Know that being in the heart as it is alone is meditating [upon it]’.

However, when Kavyakantha sawthatthis verse had just two lines and all the other verses hadfour

lines, he suggested to Bhagavan that he should addtwomorelines to it, so Bhagavan then composed the first twolines. Theresulting verse means: If there were not what is, couldtherebeany awareness of being? Since the thing that is is intheheartdevoid of thought, how to [or who can] meditate uponthethingthat is, which is called ‘heart’? Know that being in theheart asit is [that is, without any thought] alone is meditating[uponit].

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The whole of Ulladu Narpadu is an expansion of this onebasicidea, so Bhagavan starts his teachings by disparagingtheideaof meditation, but nowadays people call the hall wherehelivedthe ‘meditation hall’ and they expect that everyone whocomesto Ramanasramam should meditate. 

Self-attentionisnotmeditation in the usual sense of the word, because it isnot amental activity. It may seem that trying to attend toself isanaction, but in fact it is simply the effort to make themindsubside. 

When we attend to anything other than the Self, the mind rises and is active, but when we try to attend only to the Self, it subsides and ceases to be active.

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We always know ‘I am’, so we are always aware of and therefore attending to self, but our self-awareness is usually mixed with awareness of other things, so Bhagavantellsustotry to attend only to self, because such an attempt is theonlymeans to make the mind subside. 

In fact the mind that tries to attend only to self can never do so, because it is the nature of the mind to attend to second and third persons, whicharenon-self, 

but by trying to attend only to self it will mergeinitssource, our real self, and then self alone will remaintoknowitself, as it always does.

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Sadhu Om: In verse 1 of Ulladu Narpadu the termser padam,which means the connecting, underlying or pervadingscreen,can be taken to mean time and space, which underlie, supportand pervade the appearance of the world. The entireversemeans: Because we see the world, accepting one original thingthat hasa power that becomes many is certainly the one best option.The picture of names and forms [the world], the one whosees[it], the supporting screen [on which it appears], andthepervading light [of consciousness that illumines it] –all theseare he [the one original thing], which is self.

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Sadhu Om: The verb uruppadu usually means toformorreform, because the basic meaning of uru is form, but urucanalso mean svarupa, our ‘own form’ or real self, soinverse33of Sri Arunachala Aksharmanamalai the termuruppaduviddaimeans atma-vidya, the science and art of abiding as self. Onthe other hand seppadi viddai means a deceptive art or science,so it can means any worldly skill. Katru can meaneither‘learning’ or ‘one who is proficient’, and ippadi canmeaneither ‘this world’ or ‘in this way’. Thus this versehastwoalternative meanings: Arunachala, teach me the art of abidingas self, giving up this worldly delusion of learningdeceptiveskills.

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Arunachala, giving up deluding me in this way [as] onewhoisproficient in the art of deception, teach me [instead] theart ofself-abidance.

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In our path of abiding in self, the mind returns to its homeandtakes rest from its adventures in yoga. Though this is called‘self-attention’, it is nothing but a complete rest of themind,and if practiced, it will not be the cause of what youhavec

omplained about in your letter, namely ‘eruptingintowildoutbursts of anger and violence’.

  When, after a longperiodofeffort and struggles to do sadhana, one gives up doingsadhana,then and only then does real sadhana – self-attention–begin.

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Sadhu Om: Bhagavan once said, ‘They say it is verydifficult tostop thoughts, and also that by tapas nothing is impossible, buthowever much tapas I do, I cannot think a single thought’. Wethink now that we must strain to withdrawour mindfromsecond and third persons, but in fact we are strainingourselbe troubled by thoughts. Through sravana [studyingBhagavan’s teachings] and manana [reflecting onthem]wegain dispassion or indifference towards anything other thanself,and by nididhyasana [contemplation on self] we gainloveforself-abidance. Though these seem to be two different practices,they both lead in the same direction.vesto attend to them. To rest in our natural state of self-attentioniseffortless, but it seems to require effort because we prefertoattend to other things. Therefore we need to give upthislikingto attend to anything else, because if we do so we will nomore

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Bhagavan often said self is the guru, so the guru has alwaysbeen and will always be with us. Therefore we neednot seekthe guru, because he is already doing his part, soweshouldconcern ourselves only with seeking our own real self. AsBhagavan said in Maharshi’s Gospel [Book 2, chapter 2]: If you seek either [God or guru] – they are not reallytwobutone and identical – rest assured that they are seekingyouwithasolicitude greater than you can ever imagine.

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The mind can never imagine or understand what worktheguruis doing within. If it tried, it would be like someone tryingtoremember where he was and what he was doingduringhisgrandfather’s wedding

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Bhagavan was extremely subtle when he answeredquestions,but here we try to make it as plain and simple as possible.Since his answers were so subtle, we should be careful not torush to hasty conclusions about what he meant. 

The answers he gave were not always recorded accurately,

and evenwhentheywere, we can easily misunderstand the significance of what hesaid or the reason why he answered as he did

Sadhu Om: By clarifying that self is not the seer, perceiverorknower of anything, Bhagavan has given a correctionsliptomany of the sastras [ancient texts of vedanta]. If wehadjustread sastras, it would not have been sufficiently clear tousthatself is not the seer, because in this regard many contradictoryideas are expressed in sastras. For instance, the wordatman[self] is often used to mean jivatman [the individual or personalself], and paramatman [remotest, ultimate or supremeself]isused to mean our real self. In Sanskrit dictionaries youwill findthat atman means self, oneself or ‘I’, but it is used tomeanthe

thought ‘I’ as well as the real ‘I’. The vague andambiguousmeaning of this word atman and the various senses inwhichitis used has created many controversies and became themainpoint of disagreement between Buddhists and Vedantins.

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Bhagavan has avoided all this confusion and the resultingcontroversies by clarifying that in the sense in whichheusesthis term atman is the sole reality – the awareness of being(sat-cit) that shines as ‘I am’ in all the three states of waking, dreamand sleep – and that the ego, mind or jiva [soul or individualself] is the thought ‘I am the body’, which rises andshinesonlyin the waking and dream states. Moreover, he explainedthatwhat is seen cannot differ in nature fromthe eye that seesit,

and that self therefore knows only sat-cit-ananda andcanneverknow names and forms. As he says in verse 4of UlladuNarpadu: If oneself is a form, the world and Godwill belikewise; if oneself is not a form, who can see their forms, andhow [to do so]? Can the sight be otherwise [in nature] thantheeye [that sees it]? The [real] eye is self, the infinite eye.

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Since self is formless, it cannot see any forms, and henceit cannever be a knower of otherness. Otherness consists of forms, soit can only be known by a form, 

and hence the knower or seer of otherness can only be the ego, the thought ‘I amthe body’.

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Sadhu Om: When we read any teaching of Bhagavan, suchasaverse of Guru Vachaka Kovai, we should then and therereflectover it and try to put it into practice by abiding as self. That is,our sravana [reading], manana [reflection] and nididhyasana[self-contemplation] should go hand-in-hand, becausethenonly are we truly reading what he taught. This is thecorrectway to learn his teachings.

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