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Q: I am convinced that I am, but I am not convinced of what I am. Intellectually / know that / am the Self but I don't experience this. I have to make a lot of effort.
AS: To experience the Self you have to dive deep into the consciousness ‘I am’.
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Q: You mean l should keep the mind there?
AS: Yes. When you see the rope as a rope there is no snake. You also know that there never was a snake.
When you cease to imagine that you are a body and a mind, reality shines of its own accord.
If you stabilise in this state you can see that the mind didn’t go anywhere; you understand that it never really existed.
‘Keeping the mind in its source’ is just another way of saying /understanding that it never existed’.
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Q: But how is one to awaken from perpetual body-consciousness? For consciousness to manifest one must have a body.
AS: If there is the constant meditation that
consciousness is your own reality
in which all phenomena are appearing and disappearing,
that meditation is the activity of the sattvic mind.
It is this activity which erases and dissolves the tamas and rajas which cover the reality.
The human body is the only vehicle in which it is very convenient to realise the unmanifest Self.
With the body and the mind we can investigate and discover the reality which remains unaffected by the body and the mind. With a good car we can travel fast and reach our destination. We know that the car is not the person; the person is in the car. We should regard the body in the same way that we regard a car. We should not think T am the body’. We should think This body is a useful vehicle. If I maintain it and give it proper fuel, I can use it to take me to my destination.’
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Q: No matter how quiet I get or how still my mind is, / never get to see the world as an indivisible whole. Even when the mind is completely still, if I open my eyes I still see a world of separate objects.
AS: When the one who sees vanishes, the world of multiplicity goes with it. When the person who sees vanishes, you don’t see the unity and indivisibility, you are that unity.
You can never see the Self or Brahman, you can only be it.
There are many pearls in a necklace, but inside them all is one connecting thread. Similarly, there is one consciousness which manifests in all forms, in all bodies. We don’t see it that way. We think ‘I am this one pearl. Therefore all the other pearls are different from me.’ By thinking in this way we deliberately ignore the common thread which connects them all. If we examine each individual pearl there may seem to be a lot of differences but the thread inside all of them is one. The thread that connects and binds the whole universe into a single entity is your own Self. Bodies appear different on the outside but the consciousness which animates them all is one and the same in all bodies.
This is not an exact analogy because from the standpoint of the Self there is no difference between the pearls and the thread. They are all the one reality. Body, mind and world are all manifestations of the one reality.
We are all making a big mistake:
We take the body and the mind to be the Self and forget the infinite, immanent consciousness which is the truth of our existence.
The jnani is aware that all bodies, minds and this world exist within his own Self.
But one who has not realised the truth of his Self sees himself and others as different entities.
Such a person lives in and among differences.
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Q: We are so used to seeing differences. It is impossible to stop.
AS: This habit of making distinctions, of seeing differences, can be given up only when we realise the Self. As long as we remain at the body-mind level it is not possible to give it up. So go to the source of this manifestation. There are no differences there.
Giving up the identity with the body and the mind is tapas, samadhi , dhyana and nishtha
[abiding in and as the Self].
.......
Spiritual seekers have a very strange habit:
They are always looking for a way to reach, attain, discover, experience or realise the Self.
They try so many things because they cannot comprehend that they are already the Self.
This is like running around looking for one s eyes with one’s own eyes.
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Why should you imagine that it is some new experience to be discovered or found?
You are the Self right now, and you are aware of it right now.
Do you need a new experience to prove that you exist?
The feeling 'I am existing’ is the Self.
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You pretend that you are not experiencing it, or cover it up with all kinds of false ideas.
And then you run around looking for it as if it were something external to be reached or found.
There is a story about someone like this.
.story...you are yourself the king.....
..The Guru may tell his disciples a thousand times,
‘You are the Self. You are not what you imagine yourself to be.'
But none of them ever believe him. They all keep asking the Guru for methods and routes to reach the place where they already are.
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Q: Why don't we give up our false ideas as soon as we are told that they are false?
AS: We have identified with our false ideas for many previous lifetimes. The habit is very strong.
But not so strong that it cannot be dissolved through constant meditation.
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Q: The sadhaka has many ideas: I am a jiva, ’ I am bound, ’ I have to do sadhana, ’ I have to attain realisation . Should we forget all these ideas? Are they all obstacles to true understanding?
AS: Yes, forget them all.
‘I am the Self, I am all’.
Hold onto this awareness.
All other paths are roundabout.
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Q: Bhagavan said that repeating I am the Self or I am not this body ’ is an aid to enquiry but it does not constitute the enquiry itself.
AS: The meditation ‘I am not the body or the mind, I am the immanent Self is a great aid for as long as one is not able to do self-enquiry properly or constantly.
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Bhagavan said, ‘Keeping the mind in the Heart is self-enquiry’.
If you cannot do this by asking ‘Who am I?’ or by taking the T- thought back to its source, then meditation on the awareness ‘I am the all-pervasive Self is a great aid.
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Bhagavan often said that we should read and study the Ribhu Gita regularly.
In the Ribhu Gita it is said: ‘That bhavana “I am not the body, I am not the mind, I am Brahman, I am everything" is to be repeated again and again until this becomes the natural state.’
Bhagavan sat with us every day while we chanted extracts from the Ribhu Gita which affirm the reality of the Self. It is true that he said that these repetitions are only an aid to self-enquiry, but they are a very powerful aid.
By practising this way the mind becomes more and more attuned with the reality. When the mind has become purified by this practice it is easier to take it back to its source and keep it there.
When one is able to abide in the Self directly, one doesn’t need aids like this.
But if this is not possible these practices can definitely help one.
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Everything that appears will one day disappear. There is no permanence in the world of forms.
But that unchangeable consciousness in which all forms appear can never be diminished, destroyed or altered in any way.
If you learn to be that consciousness you come to understand that nothing can touch or destroy you.
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If, instead, you identify with some transient form you will always be worrying about the possible extinction of that form.
Ignorance causes us to worry about the possible destruction of the body. If you make your well-being dependent on the well-being of the body, you will always be worrying and suffering.
When you know, from direct experience, that you are the Self, you realise that there is no birth and no death.
You realise that you are deathless and immortal.
Self-realisation is sometimes called the immortal state because it never ends and because it is never destroyed or even altered.
If you keep your attention on the Self you can attain this immortality.
If you attain it, in that ultimate state of being you will find that there is no birth, no death, no desires, no fears, no worries, no mind and no world.
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Q: S.S. Cohen says in one of his books that when you have the experience of sphurana the Heart is ready to manifest itself Is this sphurana before or after dharana?
AS: The sphurana comes after dharana.
Sphurana is the experience of the Heart when it begins to make itself known to the advanced devotee.
It is a temporary experience of the Self which is experienced when the mind begins to be engulfed by the Heart.
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Q: Does everyone who follows the path of self-enquiry eventually have the experience of sphurana?
AS: If they are able to make the mind stay in the Heart they will have it.
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Q: People who follow other paths sometimes experience samadhi states. Will they also have the experience of sphurana?
AS: If one unceasingly follows the path of japa or yoga,
the mind will eventually merge in the sphurana.
At the time of merging the experience will come.
This sphurana is the light or the radiance of the I am.
When you are close to merging with the real T you feel its emanations. \
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This real T is the real name and form of God.
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The first and most accurate name of God is T.
The awareness 'I am’ is the original and primordial mantra.
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Q: How did this single , unbroken I become the many different things and people that we see in the world?
AS: It didn’t.
It always remains single and unbroken.
Your defective vision and your misperceptions give you the impression that the one became the many.
The Self has never undergone any change or transformation, except in your imagination.
When we identify ourselves with the body and the mind, the one appears to become many.
When one’s energy is diverted from the mind and the outside world towards the Self, the illusion of multiplicity fades away.
Go deeply into this feeling of T.
Be aware of it so strongly and so intensely that no other thoughts have the energy to arise and distract you.
If you hold this feeling of T long enough and strongly enough,
the false T will vanish
leaving only the unbroken awareness of the real, immanent T, consciousness itself.
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When one has stabilised in the Self, the inner peace which one experiences at all times flows' out to all people. This natural radiation heals and uplifts humanity far more than any amount of physical activity.
The jnani is just like the sun. The sun radiates light and warmth continuously and indiscriminately. The jnani effortlessly radiates his own nature—his love, his peace, his joy—to the whole universe.
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The saint Subramania Bharati once wrote: ‘If you come to see with clarity that the world is only a projection of the mind, you will transcend all suffering.’
In another of his poems he joked against the mind and against maya:
There are those who have realised the truth; they don’t take you [the mind] as substantial.
Those who are abiding strongly in the Self—to them you can do nothing.
If we realise the non-dual reality, you will have no peace there; you will have to run away. If the dualities of the mind are resolved, where are you?
Those brave people who come to that deep conviction and understanding that the body is unreal, what can you do to them?
For those who are ready to die, for them the death of this [mind] is nothing.
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Q: Through our practice we feel that we are approaching reality, but we also feel that we have a long way to go.
AS: You cannot approach reality or be at any distance from it. The Self is never distant from you because you are already that Self.
To get rid of all your false ideas you must generate a firm conviction that this is so.
‘I am the Self; I am all; everything is the Self.’
That mantra is the most effective and the most powerful tool for this.
If you repeat it always, all energy will come to you because you truly are the all-pervasive consciousness.
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AS: If you repeat anything constantly and generate enough faith to believe that what you are saying is correct, your mind will eventually become what you are repeating.
If you repeat the truth that you are the Self, and if you gain sufficient faith that what you are saying is true, eventually you will become the truth, the Self.
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Q: How can one tell whether one is experiencing that sleep-like silence instead of the true silence?
AS: If, after coming out of the silence, one immediately takes the body as ‘I’, one has not been experiencing the true silence. In the pursuit of inner silence, one should not enter laya [temporary suspension of all mental faculties].
For example, a man does some work; then he feels tired and takes some rest; afterwards he starts the work again. The silence should not be of this type. That is, if the mind is just temporarily taking some rest, you will not experience the real silence.
A complete absence of thoughts does not necessarily mean that one is experiencing the silence of the Self.
If there is a sense of freshness and clarity in the silence, if one’s awareness shines in such a way that one feels joyful and utterly peaceful, this is more likely to be the real silence.
If this awareness, this wakefulness, is not there, it is better to continue with japa and dhyana.
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Let me give you another example: a man meditates in Bhagavan’s old hall. He sits there for one hour. Afterwards he thinks to himself, ‘I sat and meditated for one hour’.
This is not nishtha [being established in the Self] because the T was there thinking ‘I am sitting; I am meditating’.
If you have any awareness that you are sitting or meditating, you are not experiencing the Self, you are experiencing the ego.
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93
If one is established in the awareness of immanent consciousness, that is nishtha [being established in the Self].
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94
The saint Tayumanuvar once said,
‘Why all these maha yogas?'
You are already the Self.
Why don’t you remain established in your own natural state, without forgetting it or ceasing to be aware of it? Don't concern yourself with all these maha yogas.
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AS: If one becomes firmly established in the Self and attains final realisation, all doubts will evaporate, but not before that. Until then doubts will come up again and again.
If the false T—that is, the ‘I-am-the-body’ idea—does not come to us at all, we can conclude that we have realised the Self.
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Q: Is it possible for ordinary people like us to realise that which is beyond everything?
AS: To the extent that the mind has become pure, one realises that which is beyond it. If one is totally limited, identified with that I- am-the-body idea, one is very far away from realisation of the Self.
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.......But when you identify with the Self, everything becomes pure because you are aware of it only as an appearance in the Self.
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AS: Bhagavan speaks of this ‘I am’ as something which is present here and now. It has nothing to do with the personal T. In that I am' there is no past and no future. In Kaivalya Navanitam it is said:
The jivanmukta who is established in this I am’ is not bothered about the past which is already gone, and is also not bothered about the future which is uncertain.
Whatever comes to him in the present, he just enjoys that. Even if the sun is transformed into a moon or a dead body which had gone to the cremation ground comes back to life, still he will not see these things as miraculous.
The personal I’ makes judgements about good and bad, right and wrong. It is perpetually enmeshed in dualities.
The jivan mukta , who is only ever aware of himself as I am’, has transcended all duality.
He sees no right and wrong. He remains as the witness of all happenings without judging them and without identifying with them in any way.
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AS: One verse in Kaivalya Navanltam says: ‘Pure sattva is the reality. If you stop identifying with rajoguna and tamoguna, both the world and the mind will fall away.’
One can say that the jnani is suddha sattva [pure sattva]. This is just another term for the Self.
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The waves are only a tiny part of the ocean; they are its outer form. Similarly, in the vast, limitless ocean of formless consciousness, names, forms and gunas are the tiny surface ripples. They are all manifestations of the one consciousness and inseparable from it. If you want to escape the surface turbulence you can sink deep into the formless consciousness and abide there. If you can learn to stay there you can be aware of the names, forms and gunas from a great distance without being troubled or affected by them.
From the still depths of the Self you will not see the names and forms as separate things.
You will be aware of them as being part of your Self.
You will acknowledge them as distant ripples in your own beingness.
If you can establish yourself in the unmoving depths of the formless Self, then you are trigunatita , beyond the three gunas, even though the gunas form an inseparable part of the consciousness which is your real nature.
Consciousness is both with and without form. One can say the same about both God and the jnani. Consciousness contains within itself all names, forms and gunas , but the jnani , who has discovered that his real nature is consciousness alone, has transcended them all.
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