Saturday, 17 April 2021

Annamalai Swami- 1

 

https://archive.org/details/annamalaiswamifinaltalksdavidgodman_610_m/page/n7/mode/2up

60 pdf pages double scroll left / right. however pg numbers of book are different. Pg numbers of book are quoted below:


When Self-realisation happens, mind is no longer there. 

However, you do not get Self-realisation by getting rid of the mind. 

It happens when you understand and know that the mind never existed. 

It is the recognition of what is real and true, and the abandonment of mistaken ideas about the reality and substantiality of this ephemeral shadow you call the mind.


This is why Bhagavan and many other teachers kept bringing up the analogy of the snake and the rope. If you mistake a rope on the ground for a snake, the snake only exists as an idea in your mind. That idea might cause you a lot of worry and anxiety, and you may waste a lot of mental energy wondering how to avoid the snake or kill it, but this fact remains: there is no snake outside your imagination. 

When you see the rope, the substratum upon which your false idea of a snake is superimposed, the idea that there is a snake, and that it is real, instantly vanishes. It is not a real snake that has disappeared. The only thing that has disappeared is an erroneous idea.

The substratum upon which the false idea of the mind has been superimposed is the Self. When you see the mind, the Self, the underlying substratum, is not seen. It is hidden by a false but persistent idea. And conversely, when the Self is seen, there is no mind.

You have to make an enormous effort to realise the Self. 

It is very easy to stop on the way and fall back into ignorance. 

At any moment you can fall back. 

You have to make a strong determined effort to remain on the peak when you first reach it, 

but eventually a time will come when you are fully established in the Self. 

When that happens, you cannot fall. You have reached your destination and no further efforts are required. Until that moment comes, constant sadhana is required.

pg 8/60

Once you have become established in the inner Guru, the Self, the distinction between Guru and disciple disappears. In that state you no longer need the help of any Guru. You are That, the Self.

Until the river reaches the ocean, it is obliged to keep on the flow stops. The water of the river originally came from the ocean. As it flows, it is merely making its way back to its source. When you meditate or do sadhana, you are flowing back to the source from which you came. After you have reached that source, you discover that everything that exists - world, Guru, mind - is one. No differences or distinctions arise there.

Non-duality is jnana; duality is samsara. 

If you can give up duality, Brahman alone remains.

 And you know yourself to be that Brahman.

 But to make this discovery continuous meditation is required. 

Don’t allocate periods of time for this. 

Don’t regard it as something that you do when you sit with your eyes closed. 

This meditation has to be continuous.

 Do it while you are eating, walking, and even talking. It has to be continued all the time.


Question: How does the jnani relate to his body? How does it feel to him?

Annamalai Swami: 

The jnani is not really aware of the body. Or if he is, he feels it like akasha, space itself.

After one of the operations to remove the tumour on Bhagavan’s arm had been completed, I was worried enough to send a girl who worked for me to the ashram to ask how Bhagavan was. I could not go myself because Bhagavan had asked me not to visit him.

When this girl told Bhagavan why she had come, he started laughing very loudly. I interpreted this to mean that nothing had really happened. His laughter was a message to me that Bhagavan was not his body and that I should therefore not be upset or worried by anything that happened to it.

Years before, I was walking on the hill with Bhagavan when he remarked, ‘I don’t feel the weight of the body at all. I feel as if I am walking weightlessly through the sky.’

I sometimes have the same feeling when I am walking around.


12

Though the body is needed for sadhana, one should not identify with it. We should make good use of it, and look after it well, but we should not pay too much attention to it.

There are so many thoughts in the mind. Thought after thought after thought, they never stop. But there is one thought that is continuous, though it is mostly subconscious: ‘I am the body.’ This is the string on which all other thoughts are threaded. Once we identify ourselves with the body by thinking this thought, maya follows. It also follows that if we cease to identify ourselves with the body, maya will not affect us any more.

Maya is fundamentally non-existent. Bhagavan said that maya literally means ‘that which is not’. It is unreal because everything that maya produces is an outgrowth of a wrong idea. It is a consequence of taking something to be true that is not really true. How can something that is not real produce something that is real? If a barren woman says that she has been beaten by her son, or that she has been injured by the horns of a hare, we would rightly take her to be deluded. Something that does not exist cannot be the cause of suffering or of anything else.

Maya may appear to be real, to have a real existence, but this is a false appearance. The truth is: it is not real; it has no existence at all.

How to get rid of this ‘I am the body’ feeling and of the maya that is produced by it? It goes when there is saman bhava, the equanimity or equality of outlook that leaves one unaffected by extreme opposites such as happiness and unhappiness, pleasure and pain. When saman bhava is attained, the idea ‘I am the body’ is no longer present, and maya is transcended.

Question: Is the body to be regarded as unreal, as ‘not me’? What attitude should I have towards this body and all the sensory information it provides me with?

Annamalai Swami: By itself, this body is jada, inert and lifeless. Without the mind, the body cannot function. And how does the mind function? Through the five senses that the body provides.

Mind and body are like the tongue and teeth in the mouth. They have to work in harmony with each other. The teeth do not fight with the tongue and bite it. Mind and body should combine in the same harmonious way.

However, if we want to go beyond the body, beyond the mind, 

we have to understand and fully accept that,

 all of the information that the senses provide, is not real.


 Like the mirage that produces an illusory oasis in the desert, the senses create the impression that there is a real world in front of us that is being perceived by the mind. 

The apparent reality of the world is an illusion. It is merely a mis-perception. 

When the mind perceives a snake where in reality there is only a rope, this is clearly a case of the senses projecting an imaginary image onto a real substratum. This, on a large scale, is how the unreal appearance of the world is projected by the mind and the senses onto the underlying reality of the Self.

Once this happens, we see the superimposition, the unreal names and forms we have created, and we forget about the substratum, the reality that underlies them. Many examples are given by our teachers and by our spiritual books. If you see a carved wooden elephant, for example, at some point you forget that it is only wood. You see the form of the carving, and your mind gives that form the name ‘elephant’. While your mind is registering this name and this form, you are no longer registering the object as a block of wood. It is the same when you see jewellery made out of gold. You see a shape, call it a ring or a necklace, and while you are studying the form, you temporarily forget the substance it is made of.

Self-enquiry is the process by which attention is put on the substratum instead of on the names and forms that are habitually imposed on it.

 Self is the substratum out of which all things appear to manifest, and the jnani is the one who is continually aware of the real substratum

He is never deluded into believing that the names and forms that are perceived by the senses have any real existence.

Whatever we see in this room, for example that picture of Bhagavan over there, is unreal. It has no more reality than the objects we perceive in our dreams. We think we live in a real, materially substantial world, and that our minds and bodies are real entities that move around in it. 

When the Self is seen and known, all these ideas fade away and one is left with the knowledge: 

That Self alone exists.


Question: If I regard all the people that I see and meet as unreal projections, what do I base my moral sense on? I can go around killing them or robbing them without feeling guilty because I would know that they are just characters in my dream.

Annamalai Swami: Everything that we perceive is maya, an unreal dream, but one should not then think, ‘Since everything is unreal, I can do what I like’. There are dream consequences for the bad acts committed in the dream, and while you still take the dream to be the reality, you will suffer the consequences of your bad behaviour. Do no evil and have no hate. Have equanimity towards everything.

Question: I wasn’t here yesterday, but I was told that someone asked the following question: ‘I have been following Bhagavan’s teachings for many years, but without any obvious benefits. I don’t feel any peace. What am I doing wrong? Why am I not getting results?’

Annamalai Swami: 

Self-enquiry must be done continuously. It doesn’t work if you regard it as a part-time activity. 

You may be doing something that doesn’t hold your interest or attention, so you think, ‘I will do some self-enquiry instead’. This is never going to work. 

You may go two steps forward when you practice, but you go five steps backward when you stop your practice and go back to your worldly affairs. 

You must have a lifelong commitment to establish yourself in the Self. 

Your determination to succeed must be strong and firm, and it should manifest as continuous, not part-time effort.

For many lifetimes you have been immersed in ignorance. You are habituated to it. All your deeply rooted beliefs, all' your patterns of behaviour reinforce ignorance and strengthen the hold it has over you. 

This ignorance is so strong, so deeply enmeshed in all your psychological structures, it takes a massive effort over a long period of time to break free from it.

 The habits and beliefs that sustain it have to be challenged again and again.

Ignorance is ignorance of the Self, and to remove it Self- awareness is required. 

When you come to an awareness of the Self, ignorance vanishes. If you don’t lose contact with the Self, ignorance can never arise.

If there is darkness, you remove it by bringing light. Darkness is not something real and substantial that you have to dig out and throw away. It is just an absence of light, nothing more. When light is let into a dark room, the darkness is suddenly no longer there. It did not vanish gradually or go away piece by piece; it simply ceased to exist when the room became filled with light.

This is just an analogy because the Self is not like other lights. It is not an object that you either see or don’t see.

 It is there all the time, shining as your own reality. 

If you refuse to acknowledge its existence, if you refuse to believe that it is there, you put yourself in an imaginary darkness. 

It is not a real darkness. It is just your own wilful refusal to acknowledge that you are light itself. This self-inflicted ignorance is the darkness that has to be banished by the light of Self-awareness. 

We have repeatedly to turn to the light of the Self within until we become one with it.


Bhagavan spoke about turning inwards to face the Self. 

That is all that is needed. 


If we look outwards, we become entangled with objects

 and we lose awareness of the Self shining within us. 


But when, by repeated practice, we gain the strength to keep our focus on the Self within, we become one with it and the darkness of Self-ignorance vanishes. 


Then, even though we continue to live in this false and unreal body, we abide in an ocean of bliss that never fades or diminishes.

This is not going to happen in a moment because lifetimes of wrong and ignorant thinking have made it impossible for most of us to focus intently and regularly on the Self within. 

If you leave your house and start walking away from it, and if you continue this habit over many lives, you will probably be a long, long way from home when you finally decide that you have had enough and that you want to go back to where you started from.

Don’t be discouraged by the length of the journey, and don’t slacken in your efforts to get home

Turn 180° to face the source of your outward journey, and keep moving back to where you started. 

Ignore the pain, the discomfort, and the frustration of seeming not to get anywhere. Keep moving back to your source, and don’t let anything distract you on the way.

Be like the river on its journey back to the sea. 

It doesn’t stop, take diversions, or decide to flow uphill for a while. It doesn’t become distracted. It just moves slowly and steadily back to the place its water originated from. And when the river dissolves in the ocean, river is no more. Only ocean remains.

Jiva [the individual self] came from Siva and has to go back to Siva again. If there is a big charcoal fire, and one burning ember jumps out, the fire in the ember will soon go out. To reignite it, you have to put it back into the fire, back into its burning source.

There is no happiness in separation. The jiva has no happiness, contentment or peace so long as it remains a separate being. The separate being comes from the Self. It has to go back there and end there. Only then will there be eternal peace.

The energy of the mind comes from the Self. 

In the waking state the mind functions as a separate entity. 

In the sleep state it goes back to the source. Again and again it comes out and goes back. 

It does this because it doesn’t know the truth of what it really is. 

It is Self and Self alone, but its ignorance of this fact makes it miserable.

 It is this feeling of separateness that gives rise to desires, suffering and unhappiness.

 Keep the mind in the Self. 

If you can do this, you can live in peace both while you are awake and also while you are asleep. 

In deep sleep all differences are dropped.

 If you keep the mind in the Self during the waking state, there will also be no differences, no distinctions. 

You will see everything as your own Self.


Question: How can we recognise a jnani!

Annamalai Swami: For a mature seeker there is one principal symptom of being in the presence of a jnani. If the seeker’s mind becomes quiet, without any effort, then this is a good indication.

 But this is not a test that is valid or conclusive for everyone. If an immature seeker sits in the presence of a jnani, his or her mind will probably remain just as active as ever. It is very difficult for ordinary people to determine who is and who is not a jnani. There are no consistently reliable tests. 

..22/23

People perceive jnanis through the distorting prisms of their minds. More than that they cannot do. If you put on yellow glasses, everything you see will be coloured yellow. 

Change the colour of the lenses, and the colour of what you perceive also changes. The jnani has no distorting lenses or prisms to obscure, fragment or change his vision. He sees everything as God, as his own Self.


Question: How do we get this unobscured, unfragmented vision?

Annamalai Swami: 

Bhagavan wrote in Ulladu Narpadu that perceived objects are of the same nature as the one who perceives them. 

In the waking state the gross physical eyes see gross physical objects. In the dream state the subtle eye sees subtle dream-world objects. 

Beyond that there is the eye of the Self. 

Since the Self is infinite and immaterial, what it ‘sees’ is infinite and immaterial. 

The jnani, being Self alone, sees and knows only the Self.


Annamalai Swami was referring to verse four: ‘If one is a form, the world and God will also be so. 

If one is not a form, who can see their forms and how? 

Can what is seen be of a different nature to the eye? Self, the eye, is the limitless eye. ’

Bhagavan’s explanation of this verse can he found in Maha Yoga (1973 ed. p.72): ‘If the eye that sees he the eye of flesh, then gross forms are seen; if the eye be assisted by lenses, then even invisible things are seen to have form; if the mind be that eye, then subtle forms are seen; thus the seeing eye and the objects seen are of the same nature; that is, 

if the eye be itself a form, it sees nothing but forms

But neither the physical eye or the mind has any power of vision of its own. The real Eye is the Self; as He is formless, being the pure and infinite Consciousness, the Reality, He does not see forms. ’

Annamalai Swami now continues with his answer:

The Self shines all the time. If you can’t see it because your mind has obscured it or fragmented it, you have to control your vision. 

You have to stop observing with the eye of the mind, because that eye can only see what the mind projects in front of it. If you want to see with the eye of the Self, switch the projector of the mind off. 

The infinite eye of the Self will then reveal to you that all is one and indivisible.


Question: Going back to the question of how to determine who is and who is not a jnani, can we not come to some valid conclusion by studying his life and his teachings? Will not his state be somehow reflected in the life he leads?

Annamalai Swami: You cannot determine the answer to this question by studying the teachings or the behaviour of a person you think might be a jnani. These are not reliable indicators. Some jnanis may stay silent; others may talk a lot. Some are active in the world; some withdraw from it. Some end up as teachers while others are content to stay hidden. Some behave like saints, whereas others act like madmen. The same peace can be found in the presence of all these beings, since this peace is not affected by modes of behaviour, but there may be no other common factors.

Question: Jnanis are supposed to have an equality of vision. Can we not decide whether someone may be a jnani on the basis of whether he treats people around him equally?

Annamalai Swami: 

Jnanis remain absorbed in the Self at all times

 and their apparent behaviour is just a reflection of the circumstances they find themselves in.

 Some may appear to be egalitarian. Others may not. They play their allotted roles, and though they may seem to be involved in them as ordinary people would be,

 they are not really touched by any of the events that occur in their lives. 

Equal vision may be there, internal equanimity may be there, but don’t expect all jnanis to behave in a prescribed, egalitarian way.

Bhagavan often used to cite King Janaka as an example of a jnani who was fully involved in the affairs of the world. But when his palace caught fire and was burning to the ground, he was the only person in the vicinity who was not disturbed.

In this same story there was a group of sadhus who lived near the palace. When the fire began to spread, they panicked and began to collect their sticks, their spare kaupinas , their water pots, and so on. They had very few possessions, but they were still very attached to them, and they definitely didn’t want to lose them to the fire. They were more worried about their spare underwear than Janaka was about his palace. 

Janaka watched his palace burn to the ground with complete equanimity. When you have this jnana, your inner peace is a solid rock that cannot be disturbed.

Being rich and being a king will not obstruct jnana. It’s just a question of having the right attitude. There is a story in Yoga Vasishta about a king called Mahabali. He had lost interest in his kingdom, his riches and his pleasures because he had developed a strong desire for jnana. He summoned his Guru, Sukacharya, to the court and asked him what he should do to attain jnana. Mahabali was assuming that Sukacharya would tell him to renounce his kingdom and go to the forest and meditate.

Instead Sukacharya told him, ‘I am the Self. You are the Self. All is the Self. That’s all you need to know to attain this jnana you are looking for. I cannot give you any lengthy teachings today because I have to go and attend a meeting of the gods. Anyway, lengthy teachings are not needed. Just remember the words I have told you. 

If you can hold on to this knowledge “I am the Self ” at all times, no further practice or initiation will be necessary.’


There is another story about Janaka that I like. A man called Sukabrahman called on Janaka for spiritual advice.

‘I am a seeker of truth,’ he said. ‘What can you tell me?’

‘What did you see while you were coming here?’ asked Janaka.

‘I saw houses made of sugar,’ answered Sukabrahman. ‘I saw streets made of sugar. I saw trees and flowers made of sugar. I saw animals made of sugar. I saw your palace and saw that it was made of sugar. Everything I saw was made of sugar. As I stand here, I see that you are made of sugar and that I also am made of sugar.’

Janaka laughed and said, ‘You are a ripe soul. You don’t need any teaching. You are already a jnani.’


25 book pg not pdf pg

Question: Some people realise the Self just by hearing the Guru’s words. How is this possible?

Annamalai Swami: 

Disciples who are spiritually very advanced can realise the Self as soon as they hear the truth from an enlightened Guru, 

because the words of such a being have great power.

If you are in this advanced state, they will reach your inner core and reveal to you the peace that is your real nature. 

When the Guru tells you that you are the Self, there is a power and an authority in those words that can make them become your own reality. 

If you are pure and ready, no practice will be required. 

One word from a jnani and his state will become yours too.


Question: How does the mind project this world I see in front of me?

Annamalai Swami: Everything we see in this waking state is a dream. 

These dreams are our thoughts made manifest. Bad thoughts make bad dreams and good thoughts make good dreams, and if you have no thoughts, you don’t dream at all.

 But even if you do dream, you must understand that your dream is also the Self.

 You don’t have to suppress thoughts or be absolutely thoughtless to abide as the Self.

 If you know that even your waking and sleeping dreams are the Self, then the thoughts and the dreams they produce can go on. 

They will not be a problem for you any more. 

Just be the Self at all times. 

In this state you will know that everything that appears to you is just a dream.


Question: What I am trying to say is, ‘How do thoughts and desires create this world we live in?’ It doesn’t seem possible that all this that I see could be a manifestation of my hidden desires.

Annamalai Swami: Imagine that a man has to catch a train at 3 a.m. He goes to bed thinking, ‘I have to wake up before that so I can catch this train’.

Then, sometime during the night he has a dream in which he wakes up at 2.30. He remembers the train journey, gets out of bed, goes to the station, boards the train, and takes his seat.

Then he thinks, ‘I got up early this morning. I am a bit sleepy. I will lie down and have a nap.’

He stretches himself out and goes to sleep.

The next morning he wakes up at 8 a.m. in his own bed at home and realises that he has missed his train. His whole journey had just been a dream that had been provoked by the thought, ‘I must wake up before 3 a.m’.

The waking state, which you take to be real, is just an unfolding dream that has appeared to you and manifested in front of you on account of some hidden desire or fear. 

Your vasanas sprout and expand miraculously, creating a whole waking-dream world for you. See it as a dream. Recognise that it is just an expansion of your thoughts. 

Don’t lose sight of the Self, the substratum on which this vast, believable dream is projected. 

If you hold onto the knowledge ‘I am the Self,’ you will know that the dreams are also the Self, and you won’t get entangled in them.


Question: ‘All is one’ may be the truth, but one can’t treat everything in the world equally. In daily life one still has to discriminate and make distinctions.

Annamalai Swami: I once went for a walk near the housing board buildings [government flats that were built in the 1970s about 300 metres from Annamalai Swami’s ashram]. There was a sewage trench on one side of the building. I could smell the stench of the sewage even though I was a long way away. I stayed away from it because I didn’t want to be nauseated by the bad smell.

In circumstances such as these you don’t say, ‘All is one. Everything is the Self,’ and paddle through the sewage. The knowledge ‘everything is the Self’ may be there, but that doesn’t mean that you have to put yourself in dangerous or health- threatening places.

When you have become one with the Self, a great power takes you over and runs your life for you. 

It looks after your body; it  puts you in the right place at the right time; it makes you say the right things to the people you meet. 

This power takes you over so completely, you no longer have any ability to decide or discriminate.

 The ego that thinks, ‘I must do this,’ or ‘I should not do that,’ is no longer there. 

The Self simply animates you and makes you do all the things that need to be done.


If you are not in this state, then use your discrimination wisely. You can choose to sit in a flower garden and enjoy the scent of the blooms, or you can go down to that trench I told you about and make yourself sick by inhaling the fumes there.

So, while you still have an ego, and the power of discrimination that goes with it, use it to inhale the fragrance that you find in the presence of an enlightened being. If you spend time in the proximity of a jnani, his peace will sink into you to such an extent that you will find yourself in a state of peace. If, instead, you choose to spend all your time with people whose minds are always full of bad thoughts, their mental energy and vibrations will start to seep into you.

I tell you regularly, ‘You are the Self. Everything is the Self.’ If this is not your experience, pretending that ‘all is one’ may get you into trouble. Advaita may be the ultimate experience, but it is not something that a mind that still sees distinctions can practice.

Electricity is a useful form of energy, but it is also potentially harmful. Use it wisely. Don’t put your finger in the socket, thinking ‘all is one’. You need a body that is in good working order in order to realise the Self. Realising the Self is the only useful and worthy activity in this life, so keep the body in good repair till that goal is achieved. 

Afterwards, the Self will take care of everything and you won’t have to worry about anything any more.

In fact, you won’t be able to because the mind that previously did the worrying, the choosing and the discriminating will no longer be there. 

In that state you won’t need it and you won’t miss it.


Question: What should be the right attitude when one sits in the presence of a jnani?

Annamalai Swami:


  Just keep quiet. Make contact with the silence of the Self within.
 
This is the way of making contact with your Guru, and it is also the best attitude to have when you are sitting in his presence.

Question: I understand. This is also my inner feeling, my own belief of what I need to do. But knowing it does not produce the desired results. I know that I can make contact with my real Guru by abiding as the Self within, but it rarely happens. I cannot abide in that state all the time. And when I am out of that state,
I am acutely aware of the separation. Then, when I feel that separation, I feel a need to be in the Guru’s physical presence. The advice, ‘Go back to the Self within’ is not so attractive then, because I know I can’t do it.

Annamalai Swami: Who is feeling the separation? Who is separate from whom? Ask yourself this question whenever these thoughts arise.

I remember a devotee who got very attached to Bhagavan’s feet. He would touch his feet and then try to hold on to them for a long time.

One day Bhagavan said to him: ‘Don’t get attached to the feet because one day they will disappear. If you are so attached to physical things, when they go, you will be depressed and you will feel miserable.

 Hold onto the Self within. 

That is the Guru’s true feet. 

It will never go away because it is eternal.

 The Self abides within you as your Guru.

 It is up to you to find him there and to stay with him.’

The light of the Self cannot be extinguished. It is eternal and immanent. It is not like ordinary lights that can be switched on and off. Once it is discovered within, it will be on all the time.

[The incident that Annamalai Swami reported in his final answer also seems to have been recorded by Sadhu Natanananda in his Tamil book, Sri Ramana Darshanam. In a section about devotees who wanted to hold onto the Guru’s feet or show excessive respect to him, he has Bhagavan give out two emphatic statements: the first to a devotee who was holding onto his feet,

 and the second to another devotee who was performing an over¬ elaborate prostration:
‘Only the Supreme Self which is ever shining in your Heart as the reality, is the Sadguru. 

The pure awareness, which is shining as the inward illumination “I”, is His gracious feet. 

The contact with these [inner holy feet] alone can give you true redemption. 

Joining the eye of reflected consciousness /chitabhasa/, which is your sense of individuality, to these holy feet, which are the real consciousness, is the union of the feet and the head which is the real significance of the word asi [the verb in tat tvam asi, “that thou art”]. 

As these inner holy feet can be held naturally and unceasingly, hereafter, with an inward- turned mind, cling to that inner awareness which is your own real nature. This alone is the proper way for the removal of bondage and the attainment of the supreme truth. ’


'The benefit of performing namaskaram [prostrating] to the Guru is only the removal of the ego. That is not attained except by total surrender. 

Within the Heart of each devotee the gracious Guru is giving darshan in the form of consciousness. Since to surrender is to offer fully, in silence, the subsided ego, which is a name-and-form thought, to the aham sphurana [the effulgence of “I”], the real holy feet of the gracious Guru. Since this is so, Self-realisation cannot be attained by a bowing of the body, but only by a bowing of the ego. 

[A foreign woman came to see Annamalai Swami.
While she was prostrating to him she seemed to become unconscious of her surroundings and she remained lying on the floor at his feet for about ten minutes. This was not the first time that she had fallen into this state while in Annamalai Swami’s presence.
After watching her for some time, he shouted at her:]

Annamalai Swami: You should not go into laya [a trance-like state] like this! It is becoming a habit with you. It may give you some kind of temporary happiness, but it is not a happiness that helps you spiritually. It is the same as sleep. Even worldly activities are better than this laya. Get out of this habit!

[Addressing the other people present] 

People occasionally went into states like this in front of Bhagavan. He never encouraged them, even the ones who appeared to be in deep meditation.
I remember one occasion when Bhagavan noticed a man who had been sitting motionless in the hall for at least an hour, apparently in a deep meditation. Bhagavan was not fooled.
He called to Kunju Swami and others who were present, ‘Shout at him, shake him, and when he wakes up, take him on giri pradakshina\ This is no better than sleep. This state is not good for him. He is just wasting his time sitting like this.’

Bhagavan warned us about this state, and he often cited stories of sadhus who had been stuck in this state for years. One of the most frequently told was a story about a sadhu who asked his disciple for a glass of water. While he was waiting for the man to return, he went into a deep laya state that persisted for many, many years. He was in this state so long, his disciple died, the river changed its course, and different rulers came and went.
When he opened his eyes, his first comment was, ‘Where is my glass of water?’ Before he went into laya, this thought was uppermost in his mind, and decades later, this thought was still there.
Bhagavan’s comment on this story was, ‘These states are not helpful. They are not samadhi.'
[The woman who had been in laya then asked the next question:]

Question: Whenever I start meditating, soon after I start, I fall into these states. How can I prevent these laya states from coming and taking me over?

Annamalai Swami: Keep practising self-enquiry. This is the way to avoid laya. 

The mind usually has two habits; either it is occupied with many thoughts and engaged in activities, or it goes back to sleep. 

But for some people, there is this third option, falling into this laya state. 

You should not indulge in it because once it becomes a habit, it becomes addictive. It is a pleasant state be in, but if you fall very deeply into it, it becomes very hard to get out of it.
You know what this state is like because you have been in it many times. As soon as you feel the first symptoms of an approaching trance, get up and walk around. Don’t remain sitting or lying.

 Walk around or do some work, and above all, keep up the practice of self-enquiry. 

If you practise self-enquiry constantly, you will never find yourself falling into laya.
You can conquer this habit. You just need to be attentive and to do self-enquiry.

..
34

Question: As I mentioned before, I hear the sound all the time, but I feel that the experience is not deep enough to take me back to an absorption in the Self. I say this because I am not experiencing the peace that Swami is talking about, the peace in which the sound disappears and leaves peace alone. I am trying to go deeper. I am asking myself where the feeling of the sound comes from because I want to remain in the Heart, in bliss.

Annamalai Swami: 

Enquire ‘Who am I?’ or ‘What is my real nature?’ 

The nature of the Self is nothing but peace. 

If you are not aware of that peace, it means that you are identifying with something that is not the Self. 

As long as you hear, taste and smell things, you identify with the body. 

When the perceptions and the perceiver of them vanish, you become aware of the peace that is there all the time.


Question: I hear the sound. Then I ask myself who is hearing the sound, and the answer is T. What happens next depends on where I am. If I am in Swami’s presence or in the meditation hall at Sri Ramanasramam, I feel the presence of the Self and the bliss of peace, but when I am away from Swami, it is not so easy.

Annamalai Swami: You need not hold on to That because you are That all the time. That is enough. You are That. How can you hold on to That, or feel separate from it, or try to get it back, or lose it? If That is your real nature, how can you pretend that you are nearer to it in two places and separate from it when you are somewhere else?

Question: I have the experience of That with Swami, but I don’t have that same experience when I am away from him. This is definitely my experience, so I don’t really understand what you are telling me.

Annamalai Swami: Your understanding or your lack of it does not affect the truth of what I am saying. You are That. See who you are and there will be nothing obstructing the experience of this fact.

Question: I still say I see who I am when I am near Swami. When I am away from him, I can remember it as a fact, but it is not my direct experience.

Annamalai Swami: This is because you identify with your body and your mind. 


Your mind is making you believe that a certain experience can only happen when you are in a particular place. 

Give up this identification and you will find that the Self is everywhere. 

You will see it, know it and be it wherever you go. Everything is Swami, including you yourself.


Question: How do I give up identification with the body, particularly when I am not in front of Swami? I keep practising, but I don’t have that experience.

Annamalai Swami: Meditate ‘I am the Self’. If you do this, the idea that you are the body will go. 

‘I am the Self’ is still an idea, and as such, it belongs in maya, along with all other ideas. 

But you can begin to conquer maya by giving up utterly wrong ideas that bind you and cause you trouble. How to do this? 

Replace them with ideas that are a better reflection of the truth, and which are helpful in leading you to that truth. 

If you want to cut iron, you use another piece of iron.
In battle, if someone shoots an arrow at you, you shoot one back. In maya, if the arrow of a bad idea comes speeding towards you, dodge it. Don’t let it stick to you or you will end up in pain. Then, in retaliation, fire back the arrow of ‘I am the Self’ at the place where the wrong idea came from.

Sadhana is a battlefield. 

You have to be vigilant. 

Don’t take delivery of wrong beliefs and don’t identify with the incoming thoughts that will give you pain and suffering. 

But if these things start to happen to you, fight back by affirming, ‘I am the Self; I am the Self; I am the Self’. 

These affirmations will lessen the power of the ‘I am the body’ 

arrows and eventually they will armour-plate you so successfully, the ‘I am the body’ thoughts that come your way will no longer have the power to touch you, affect you or make you suffer.

This fight all takes place within maya because in reality you are peace and peace alone. But while you are suffering in maya you can use these thoughts as a means of ultimately conquering it.


Question: To remain as myself, to have this awareness ‘I am the Self’, is it enough that I merely hear this sound, T-I’, because I do hear it everywhere?

Annamalai Swami: If it is constant, it will be enough. If you don’t forget your real Self, that will be enough. Your real Self is everything. Not an atom exists apart from the Self. You, the real you, the Self, are all inclusive. When I say give up your identification with the ‘I am the body’ idea, I don’t mean that you are not the body. I mean that you should give up the idea that you are only the body. You are all bodies, all things, all creation, but paradoxically, this knowledge will not come to you unless you give up identifying with particular objects, such as 1 am the body’, and limiting thoughts such as ‘I am so-and- so’. 


When you have given up all thoughts, all identifications, the true knowledge suddenly dawns on you: 

T am the unmanifest Self and 

I am also the whole of manifestation.’



So I tell people: ‘This physical body is not you; the mind is not you. Go beyond them to see what is really behind them.’ 

This is done to make people give up their incorrect, limiting ideas, so they can have a direct experience of what is truly real.

 I am asking people to be aware of the rope of reality instead of being confounded and led astray by the mental illusion of the snake.


Question: This ‘I’-thought seems to vibrate at the same speed as the sound and the feeling of T-I’. So when I think T, it reminds me of the sound. This seems to happen by itself. But afterwards, I need to think T to remind me of this vibration that is going on.

Annamalai Swami: 

Since you forget your real Self, the only way is to go back to your real Self.

If you keep the light on all the time, darkness cannot enter your room. Even if you open the door and invite it to come in, it cannot enter. 

Darkness is just an absence of light. 

In the same way, mind is just a self- inflicted area of darkness in which the light of the Self has been deliberately shut out. 

You live in the darkness by insisting on believing ideas that have no validity, and you live in the light of the Self when you have given up all ideas, both good and bad.

Question: So you are saying that believing that I am a body and a particular person is purely imagination. Or better still, a bad habit that I should try to get rid of?

Annamalai Swami: Correct. This habit has become very strong because you have reinforced and strengthened it over many lifetimes. This will go if you meditate on your real Self. The habit will melt away, like ice becoming water.

ends at pg 37  
pdf pg 24 of 60
cont part 2
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