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From : Path Of Ramana-1
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Therefore, the mind which attends to Self is no more the mind; it is the consciousness aspect of Self (atma-chit-rupam)!
Likewise, so long as it attends to the second and third persons (the world), it is not the consciousness aspect of Self;
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The mind which has obtained a burning desire for Self-attention, which is Self-enquiry, is said to be the fully mature one (pakva manas).
Since it is not at all now inclined to attend to any second or third parson, it can be said that it has reached the pinnacle of desirelessness (vairagya).
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For, do not all sorts of desires and attachments pertain only to second and third persons? Since this mind, which has very well understood that (as already seen in earlier chapters) the consciousness which shines as ‘I’ alone is the source of full and real happiness, now seeks Self because of its natural craving for happiness, this intense desire to attend to Self is indeed the highest form of devotion (bhakti).
It is exactly this Self-attention of the mind which is thus fully mature through such devotion and desirelessness (bhakti-vairagya) that is to be called the enquiry ‘Who am I ?’ taught by Bhagavan Sri Ramana!
Well, will not at least such a mature mind which has come to the path of Sri Ramana, willingly agreeing to engage in Self-attention, realize Self ?
No, no, it has started for its doom ! Agreeing to commit suicide, it places its neck (through Self-attention) on the scaffold where it is to be sacrificed !! How ?
Only so long as it was attending to second and third persons did it have the name ‘mind’, but as soon as Self-attention is begun, its name and form (its name as mind and its form as thoughts) are lost.
So we can no longer say that Self-attention or Self-enquiry is performed by the mind,
Neither is it the mind that attends to Self, nor is the natural spontaneous Self-attention of the consciousness aspect of Self (atma-chit-rupam), which is not the mind, an activity ! “A naked lie then it would be If any man were to say that he Realized the Self, diving within Through proper enquiry set in, Not for knowing but for death The good-for-nothing ego’s worth ! ’This Arunachala alone, The Self, by which the Self is known !” ‘Sri Arunachala Venba’ verse 39
The feeling ‘I am’ is the experience common to one and all. In this, ‘am’ is consciousness or knowledge. This knowledge is not of anything external; it is the knowledge of oneself, This is chit. This consciousness is ‘we’, “We are verily consciousness”, says Sri Bhagavan in ‘Upadesa Undhiyar’ verse 23. This is our ‘being’ (that is, our true existence) or sat. This is called ‘that which is’ (ulladhu). Thus in ‘I am’, ‘I’ is existence (sat) and ‘am’ is consciousness (chit). When Self, our nature of existence-consciousness (satchit swarupam), instead of shining only as the pure consciousness ‘I am’, shines mixed with an adjunct (upadhi) as ‘I am a man, I am Rama, I am so-and-so, I am this or that’, then this mixed consciousness is the ego. This mixed consciousness can rise only by catching hold of a name and form. When we feel ‘I am a man, I am Rama, I am sitting, I am lying’, is it not clear that we have mistaken the body for ‘I’, and that we have assumed its name and postures as ‘I am this and I am thus’? – The feeling ‘this and thus’ which has now risen mixed with the pure consciousness ‘I am’ (satchit) is what is called ‘thought’, This is the first thought.
The feeling ‘I am a man, I am so-and-so’ is only a thought. But the consciousness ‘I am’ is not a thought; it is the very nature of our ‘being’. The mixed consciousness ‘I am this or that’ is a thought that rises from our ‘being’. It is only after the rising of this thought, the mixed consciousness (the first person), that all other thoughts,
which are the knowledge of second and third persons, rise into existence.
“ Thinking is a mentation (vritti) ; being is not a mentation ! ...” ‘Atma Vichara Patikam’, verse 1
The pure existence-consciousness, ‘I am’, is not a thought; this consciousness is our nature (swarupam). ‘I am a man’ is not our pure consciousness; it is only our thought!
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To understand thus the difference between our ‘being’ and our ‘rising’ (that is, between existence and thought) first of all is essential for aspirants who take to the enquiry ‘Who am I?’,
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Therefore, the result which is aimed at when seeking the rising-place of the ego is the annihilation of that ego and not an experience of a place in the body. It is only in reply to the immature people who – not able to have even an intellectual understanding (paroksha jnana) about the nature of Self, which shines alone as the one, non-dual thing, unlimited by (indeed, absolutely unconnected with) time and space, unlimited even in the form ‘Brahman is everywhere, Brahman is at all times, Brahman is everything’ (sarvatra brahma, sarvada brahma, sarvam brahma) – always raise the question, “Where is the seat for Self in the body?”, that the sastras and sometimes even Sri Bhagavan had to say: “... two digits to the right (from the centre of the chest)
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Sri Bhagavan in the last two lines of the first benedictory verse of ‘Ulladhu Narpadhu’ to be ‘abiding in the Heart as it is’ (that is to say, abiding as Self is the correct way of meditating upon it), so also, the correct meaning of the term ‘Self-enquiry’ (atma-vichara) is here rightly explained to be ‘turning Selfwards’ (or attending to Self),
Thus it is sufficient if we cling to the feeling ‘I’ uninterruptedly till the very end. Such attention to the feeling ‘I’, the common daily experience of everyone, is what is meant by Self-attention,
For those who accept as their basic knowledge the ‘I am the body’ – consciousness (jiva bhava, being unable to doubt its (the ego’s) existence, it is suitable to take to Self-attention (that is, to do Self-enquiry) in the form ‘Whence am I ?’,
On the other hand, for those who instead of assuming that they have an individuality (jiva bhava) such as ‘I am so-and-so’ or ‘I am this’, attend thus,
‘What is this feeling which shines as I am?’,
it is suitable to be fixed in Self-attention in the form ‘Who am I ?’
What is important to be sure of during practice (sadhana) is that our attention is turned only towards ‘I’, the first person singular feeling.
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“Although in the beginning, on account of the tendencies towards sense-objects (vishaya-vasanas) which have been recurring down the ages, thoughts rise in countless numbers like the waves of the ocean, they will all perish as the aforesaid Self-attention becomes more and more intense. Since even the doubt “Is it possible to destroy all of them and to remain as Self alone ?’ is only a thought, without giving room even to that thought, one should persistently cling fast to Self-attention. However great a sinner one may be, if, not lamenting ‘Oh, I am a sinner! How can I attain salvation?’ but completely giving up even the thought that one is a sinner, one is steadfast in Self attention, one will surely be saved. Therefore everyone, diving deep within himself with desirelessness (vairagya), can attain the pearl of Self.
“As long as there are tendencies towards sense-objects in the mind, (since they will always create some subtle or gross world-appearance) so long the enquiry ‘Who am I?’ is necessary. As and when thoughts rise of their own accord, one should annihilate all of them through enquiry then and there in their very place of origin. What is the means to annihilate them? If other thoughts rise disturbing Self-attention, one should, without attempting to complete them, enquire ‘To whom did they rise?, It will “then be known ‘To me’; immediately, if we observe ‘Who is this I that thinks?’, the mind (our power of attention which was hitherto engaged in thinking of second and third persons) will turn back to its source (Self). Hence (since no one is there to attend to them), the other thoughts which had risen will also subside. By repeatedly practising thus, the power of the mind to, abide in its source increases. When the mind thus abides in the Heart, the first thought, ‘I’ (‘I am the body’, the rising ‘I’), which is the root of all other thoughts, itself having vanished, the ever-existing Self (the being ‘I’) alone will shine. The place (or state) where even the slightest trace of the thought ‘I’ (‘I am this, that, the body, Brahman and so on’) does not exist, alone is Self. That alone is called Silence (maunam).
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“After coming to know that the final decision of all the scriptures (sastras) is that such destruction of the mind alone is liberation (mukti), to read scriptures unlimitedly is fruitless. In order to destroy the mind, it is necessary to enquire who one is; then how, instead of enquiring thus within oneself, to enquire and know who one, is in scriptures ? For Rama to know himself to be Rama, is a mirror necessary ? (That is to say, for one to know oneself through Self-attention to be ‘I am’, are scriptures necessary ?) ‘Oneself’ is within the five sheaths, whereas the scriptures are outside them. Therefore, how can oneself, who is to be attended to within, setting aside even the five sheaths, be found in scriptures? Since scripture-enquiry is futile, one should give it up and take to Self-enquiry” – thus says Bhagavan Sri Ramana
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Just as the man in the dark room, deciding to see the source of the reflected beam which has come into the room, gives up the desire either to enjoy or to make research about the things there with the help of that reflected beam, so a man who wants to know the real Light (Self) must give up all efforts towards enjoying or knowing about the various worlds which shine only by means of the mind-light functioning through the five senses, since he cannot know Self either if he is deluded by cognizing and desiring external objects (like a worldly man) or if he is engaged in investigating them (like our modern scientists). This giving up of attention towards external sense-objects is desirelessness (vairagya) or inward renunciation. The eagerness to see whence the reflected ray comes into the room corresponds to the eagerness to see whence the ego. ‘I’, the mind-light, rises. This eagerness is love for Self (swatma-bhakti). Keeping the eyes positioned along the straight line of the beam without straying away to one side or the other corresponds to the one-pointed attention fixed unswervingly on the ‘I’ – consciousness. Is not the man now moving along the straight line of the reflected beam from the dark room towards the piece of mirror lying outside? This moving corresponds to diving within towards the Heart.
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When the mind, with a tremendous longing to find the source which gives it light, turns inwards, the breath stops automatically ! If the breath of the enquirer is exhaled at the time of his mind thus giving up knowing external sense objects (vishayas) and starting to attend to its original form of light, Self, it automatically remains outside without being again drawn in. Likewise, if it is inhaled at that time, it automatically remains inside without being again exhaled ! These are to be taken as ‘external retention’ (bahya kumbhaka) and ‘internal retention’ (antara kumbhaka) respectively. Until there is a rising of a thought on account of non-vigilance (pramada) in Self-attention, this retention (kumbhaka) will continue in an enquirer quite effortlessly. By a little scrutiny, will it not be clear to anyone that even in our everyday life when some startling news is suddenly brought to us or when we try to recollect a forgotten thing
with full concentration, the breath stops automatically on account of the keenness of mind (the intensity of concentration) that takes place then?
Similarly, the breath will stop automatically as soon as the mind, with an intense longing to see its original form of light and with earnest one pointedness, begins to turn keenly and remain within.
In this state of retention (kumbhaka), no matter how long it continues, the enquirer does not experience suffocation, that is, the urge to exhale or inhale. But while practicing pranayama, if the units of time (matras) of the retention are increased, one does experience suffocation.
If the enquirer’s attention is so intensely fixed on Self that he does not even care to know whether the breath has stopped or not, then his state of retention is involuntary and without struggle.
There are some aspirants, however, who try to know at that time whether or not the ‘breath has stopped.
This is wrong, for since the attention is thus focusing on the breath, Self attention will be lost and thereby various thoughts will shoot up and the flow of sadhana will be interrupted, That is why Sri Bhagavan advised,
‘Control breath and speech with a keen (introverted) mind’. It would be wise to understand this verse thus, by adding ‘with a keen mind’ (kurnda matiyal) in all the three places, ‘Control the breath with a keen mind dive within with a keen mind, and know the rising-place with a keen mind’,
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By his very moving along it, does not the man who positions his eyes on the reflected beam reduce its length? Just as the length of the beam decreases as he advances, so also the mind’s tendency of expanding shrinks more and more as the aspirant perseveres in sincerely seeking its source.
“… When the attention goes deeper and deeper within along the (reflected) ray ‘I’, its length decrease more and more, and when the ray ‘I’ dies, that which shines as ‘I’ is Jnana, “
‘Atma Vichara Patikam’, verse 9
When the man finally reaches very near to the piece of mirror, he can be said to have reached the very source of the reflected ray. This is similar to the aspirant diving within and reaching the source (Heart) whence he had risen. Does not the man now attain a state where the length of the reflected ray is reduced to nothing – a state where no reflection is possible because he is so close to the mirror? Similarly, when the aspirant, on account of his diving deeper and deeper within by an intense effort of Self attention, is so close to his source that not even an iota of rising of the ego is possible, he remains absorbed in the great dissolution of the ‘I am the body’ – feeling (dehatmabuddhi), which he had hitherto had as a target of attention, This dissolution is what Sri Bhagavan refers to when He says, ‘I’ will die”, in ‘Upadesa Undhiyar’ verse 19
Because of his mere search for the source of the reflected ray of the sun, does not the man now, after leaving the dark room, stand in the open space in a state of void created by the non-existence of that reflected ray? This is the state of the aspirant remaining in the Heart-space (hridayakasa) in the state of great void (maha sunya) created, through mere Self-attention, by the non-existence of the ego-’I’. The man who has come out of the room into the open space is dazed and laments, “Alas ! The sun that guided me so far (the reflected sun) is now lost”, At this moment, a friend of his standing in the open space comes to him with these words of solace, “Where were you all this time? Were you not in the dark room! Where are you now? Are you not in the open space!
When you were in the darkroom, that which guided you out was just one thin ray of light; but here (in this vast open space) are not the rays of light countless and in an unlimited mass? What you saw previously was not even the direct sunlight, but only a reflected ray! But what you are now experiencing is the direct (saksha) sunlight. When the place where you are now is nothing but the unlimited space of light, can a darkness come into existence because of the void created by the disappearance of the reflected ray? Can its disappearance be a loss? Know that its disappearance itself is the true light; it is not darkness”. Similarly, by the experience of the great void (maha sunya) created by the annihilation of the ego, the aspirant is some-what taken aback, ‘Alas ! Even the ‘I’ consciousness (the ego) which I was attending to in my sadhana till now as a beacon-light is lost ! Then is there really no such thing at all as ‘Self’ (atman)?”. At that very moment, the Sadguru, who is ever shining as his Heart, points out to him thus,
“Can the destruction of the ego, which is only an infinitesimal reflected consciousness, be really a loss?
Are you not clearly aware not only of its former existence, but also of the present great void created by its disappearance? Therefore, know that you, who know even the void as ‘this is a void’, alone are the true knowledge; you are not a void !”,
in an instant as a direct experience of the shining of his own existence-consciousness by touching (flashing as sphurana) in Heart as Heart!
The aspirant who started the search ‘Whence am I?’ or ‘Who am I ?’ now attains the non dual Self-knowledge, the true knowledge ‘I am that I am’, which is devoid of the limitations of a particular place or time.
Clinging to the consciousness ‘I’ and thereby acquiring a greater and greater intensity of concentration upon it, is diving deep within.
Instead of thus diving within, many, thinking that they are engaged in Self-enquiry, sit down for hours together simply repeating mentally or vocally, “Who am I ?” or “Whence am I?”.
There are others again who, when they sit for enquiry, face their thoughts and endlessly repeat mentally the following questions taught by Sri Bhagavan. “To whom come these thoughts? To me; who am I?”, or sometimes they even wait for the next thought to come up so that they can fling these questions at it!
Even this is futile Did we sit to hold thus a court of enquiry, calling one thought after another!
Is this the sadhana of diving within!
Therefore, we should not remain watching ‘What is the next thought?’. Merely to keep on questioning in this manner is not Self-attention. Concerning those who thus merely float on the surface of the thought-waves; keeping their mind on these questions instead of diving within by attending to the existence consciousness with a keen mind, thereby controlling mind, breath and all the activities of the body and senses, Sri Bhagavan says:
“Compare him who asks himself ‘Who am I?’ and ‘From which place am I?’, though he himself exists all the while as Self, to a drunken man who prattles ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Where am I?’.” ‘Ekatma Panchakam’, verse 2
and further, He asks: “…How to attain that state wherein ‘I’ does not rise the state of egolessness (the great void or maha sunya) –
unless (instead of floating like this) we seek the place whence ‘I’ rises? And unless we attain that (egolessness), say, how to abide in the state of Self, where ‘We are That’ (soham)?” ‘Ulladhu Narpadhu’, versa 27
Therefore, all that we are to practise is to be still (summa iruppadu) with the remembrance of the feeling ‘I’.
It is only when there is a slackness of vigilance during Self attention that thoughts, which are an indication of it, will rise.
In other words, if thoughts rise it means that our Self attention is lost.
It is only as a contrivance to win back Self attention from thought – attention that Sri Bhagavan advised us to ask, ’To whom do these thoughts appear?’
Since the answer ‘To me’ is only a dative form of ‘I’, it will easily remind us of the nominative form, the feeling ‘I’.
However, if we question, ‘Who thinks these thoughts?’, since the nominative form, the feeling ‘I’, is obtained as an answer, will not Self-attention, which has been lost unnoticed, be regained directly?
(the above is horribly worded)
reworded: When asked, "who thinks these thoughts?', the answer would be 'I'. If we hold on to that I , that would be self attention..
This regaining of Self-attention is actually being Self (that is, remaining or abiding as Self)! Such ‘being’ alone is the correct sadhana.
Sadhana is not doing, but being!!
Some complain, “When the very rising of the ego from sleep is so surreptitious as to elude our notice, how can we see whence it rises? It seems to be impossible!”
That is true, because the mind’s effort of attention is absent in sleep, since the mind itself is not at all there!
As ordinary people are not acquainted with the knowledge of their ‘being’ but only with the knowledge of their ‘doing’ (that is, the knowledge of their making efforts),
for such people it is impossible to know from sleep the rising of the ego from there.
Since the effort considered by them as necessary is absent in sleep, it is no wonder that they are unable to commence the enquiry from sleep itself!
But, since the whole of the waking state is a mere sportive play of the ego and since the effort of the mind here is under the experience of everyone, at least in the waking state one can turn and attend to the pseudo ‘I’ shining in the form ‘I am so-and-so’.
“ ‘Turning inwards, daily see thyself with an Introverted look and it (the Reality) will be known’ – thus didst Thou tell me, O my Arunachala!”
‘Sri Arunachala Aksharamanamalai’, verse 44
The enquiry begins only during the leisure hours of the waking state when one sits for practice. Just as a thing comes to our memory when its name, is thought of, does not the first person feeling come to everyone’s memory as soon as the name (pronoun) ‘I’ is thought of? Although this first person feeling is only the ego, the pseudo ‘I’- consciousness, it does not matter. Having our attention withdrawn from second and third persons and clinging to the first person – that alone is sadhana.
As soon as the attention turns towards the first person feeling, not only do other thoughts disappear, but also the first thought, the rising and expanding pseudo ‘I’-consciousness, itself begins contracting !
“When the mind, the ego, which wanders outside knowing only other objects (second and third persons), begins to attend to its own nature, all other objects will’ disappear and, by experiencing its true nature (Self), the pseudo ‘I’ will also die.” -
‘Guru Vachaka Kovai’, verse 193
“...If the fickle mind turns towards the first person, the first person (the ego) will become non-existent and That which really exists will then shine forth…” ‘Atma Vichara Patikam’, verse 6 “...
Attending to the first person is equal to committing suicide...” ‘Atma Vichara Patikam’, verse 7
This is the great revelation made by Bhagavan Sri Ramana and bestowed by Him as a priceless boon upon the world of spiritual aspirants in order to bring Vedanta easily under practical experience.
Just as a rubber ball gains greater and greater momentum while bouncing down the staircase, the more the concentration in clinging to the first person consciousness is intensified the faster is the contraction of the first thought (the ego), till finally it merges in its source. That which now merges thus is only the adjunct (upadhi), the feeling ‘so-and-so’ which, at the moment of waking, came and mixed with the pure existence-consciousness, which was shining in sleep as ‘I am’, to constitute the form of the ego, ‘I am so-and-so’, ‘I am this’ or ‘I am that’. That is, what has come and mixed now slips away. All that an aspirant can experience in the beginning of his practice is only the slipping away (subsidence) of the ego. Since the
aspirant tracks down the ego from the waking state, where it is in full play, in the beginning it is possible for him to cognize only its removal. But to cognize its rising (how it rises and holds on to ‘I am’) from sleep will be more difficult for him at this stage. When Self-attention is started from the waking consciousness ‘I am so-and-so’, since it is only the adjunct, the feeling ‘so-and-so’, that slips away (because it is merely non-existent, an unreal thing [the unreal dies and the Reality alone survives, ‘satyameva jayate’), the aspirant even now (when ‘so-and-so’ has dropped off) feels no loss to the consciousness ‘I am’ which he had experienced in the waking state. Now he attains a state which is similar to the sleep he has experienced every day and which is devoid of all and everything (because, ‘The ego is verily all – sarvam’73, since the whole universe, which is nothing but thoughts, is an expansion of the ego). But a great difference is now experienced by him between the sleep that, without his knowledge, has been coming and overwhelming him all these days due to the complete exhaustion of mind and body, and this sleep which is now voluntarily brought on and experienced by him with the full consciousness of the waking state. How? “Because there is consciousness, this is not sleep, and because there is the absence of thoughts, it is not the waking state it is therefore the existence consciousness (sat-chit), the unbroken nature of Siva (akhanda siva-swarupam). Without leaving it, abide in it with great love.” ‘Sadhanai Saram’
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