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Don’t be discouraged by the length of the journey, and don’t slacken in your efforts to get home.
Turn 180° to face the source of your outward journey, and keep moving back to where you started. Ignore the pain, the discomfort, and the frustration of seeming not to get anywhere.
Keep moving back to your source, and don’t let anything distract you on the way.
Be like the river on its journey back to the sea.
It doesn’t stop, take diversions, or decide to flow uphill for a while. It doesn’t become distracted.
It just moves slowly and steadily back to the place its water originated from.
And when the river dissolves in the ocean, river is no more.
Only ocean remains.
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Jnanis remain absorbed in the Self at all times and their apparent behaviour is just a reflection of the circumstances they find themselves in.
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Disciples who are spiritually very advanced can realise the Self as soon as they hear the truth from an enlightened Guru,
because the words of such a being have great power.
If you are in this advanced state, they will reach your inner core and reveal to you the peace that is your real nature.
When the Guru tells you that you are the Self, there is a power and an authority in those words that can make them become your own reality.
If you are pure and ready, no practice will be required.
One word from a jnani and his state will become yours too.
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Ramana's advice to one who wanted to hold his feet.
Only the Supreme Self which is ever shining in your Heart as the reality, is the Sadguru. The pure awareness, which is shining as the inward illumination “I”, is His gracious feet. The contact with these [inner holy feet] alone can give you true redemption.
Joining the eye of reflected consciousness /chitabhasa/, which is your sense of individuality, to these holy feet, which are the real consciousness, is the union of the feet and the head which is the real significance of the word asi [the verb in tat tvam asi, “that thou art”]. As these inner holy feet can be held naturally and unceasingly, hereafter, with an inward- turned mind, cling to that inner awareness which is your own real nature. This alone is the proper way for the removal of bondage and the attainment of the supreme truth. ’
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Most people cannot hear or be aware of the subtle inner vibration because it is drowned out by the physical noise of the outer world and by the persistent mental noise of the mind. The only people who can hear this sound are those in whom thoughts have mostly disappeared. One needs to be in a deep level of mental peace in order to be aware of this sound.
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Enquire ‘Who am I?’ or ‘What is my real nature?’ The nature of the Self is nothing but peace.
If you are not aware of that peace, it means that you are identifying with something that is not the Self.
As long as you hear, taste and smell things, you identify with the body. When the perceptions and the perceiver of them vanish, you become aware of the peace that is there all the time.
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You need not hold on to That because you are That all the time. That is enough. You are That. How can you hold on to That, or feel separate from it, or try to get it back, or lose it?
If That is your real nature, how can you pretend that you are nearer to it in two places and separate from it when you are somewhere else?
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Sadhana is a battlefield. You have to be vigilant. Don’t take delivery of wrong beliefs and don’t identify with the incoming thoughts that will give you pain and suffering. But if these things start to happen to you, fight back by affirming, ‘I am the Self; I am the Self; I am the Self’.
These affirmations will lessen the power of the ‘I am the body’ arrows.
And eventually they will armour-plate you so successfully, the ‘I am the body’ thoughts that come your way will no longer have the power to touch you, affect you or make you suffer.
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If it is constant, it will be enough.
If you don’t forget your real Self, that will be enough.
Your real Self is everything. Not an atom exists apart from the Self.
You, the real you, the Self, are all inclusive. When I say give up your identification with the ‘I am the body’ idea, I don’t mean that you are not the body. I mean that you should give up the idea that you are only the body.
You are all bodies, all things, all creation, but paradoxically, this knowledge will not come to you unless you give up identifying with particular objects,
such as 1 am the body’, and limiting thoughts such as ‘I am so-and- so’.
When you have given up all thoughts, all identifications, the true knowledge suddenly dawns on you:
T am the unmanifest Self and I am also the whole of manifestation.’
So I tell people: ‘This physical body is not you; the mind is not you. Go beyond them to see what is really behind them.’
This is done to make people give up their incorrect, limiting ideas, so they can have a direct experience of what is truly real.
I am asking people to be aware of the rope of reality instead of being confounded and led astray by the mental illusion of the snake.
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Since you forget your real Self, the only way is to go back to your real Self.
If you keep the light on all the time, darkness cannot enter your room. Even if you open the door and invite it to come in, it cannot enter. Darkness is just an absence of light. In the same way, mind is just a self- inflicted area of darkness in which the light of the Self has been deliberately shut out. You live in the darkness by insisting on believing ideas that have no validity, and you live in the light of the Self when you have given up all ideas, both good and bad.
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Question: So you are saying that believing that I am a body and a particular person is purely imagination. Or better still, a bad habit that I should try to get rid of?
Annamalai Swami:
Correct.
This habit has become very strong because you have reinforced and strengthened it over many lifetimes.
This will go if you meditate on your real Self.
The habit will melt away, like ice becoming water.
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Forgetfulness of the Self happens because of non-enquiry.
So I say, ‘Remove the forgetfulness through enquiry’. Forgetfulness or non-forgetfulness is not apart of your destiny.
It is something you can choose from moment to moment.
That is what Bhagavan said.
He said that you have the freedom either to identify with the body and its activities, and in doing so forget the Self,
or you can identify with the Self
and have the understanding that the body is performing its predestined activities, animated and sustained by the power of the Self.
If you have an oil lamp and you forget to put oil in it, the light goes out. It was your forgetfulness and your lack of vigilance that caused the light to go out. Your thoughts were elsewhere. They were not on tending the lamp.
In every moment you only have one real choice: to be aware of the Self or to identify with the body and the mind.
If you choose the latter course, don’t blame God or God’s will, or predestination.
God did not make you forget the Self.
You yourself are making that choice every second of your life.
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The Self is always present.
Nothing obstructs your awareness of it except your self-inflicted ignorance.
Our efforts, our sadhana, are directed towards removing this ignorance. If this ignorance is removed, the real Self is revealed.
This revelation is not part of destiny. Only the outer bodily activities are destined.
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Question: So my inner life is my own responsibility. I cannot blame Bhagavan if I am not remembering myself.
Annamalai Swami:
Bhagavan is always present, inside you and in front of you.
If you don’t cover the vision of Bhagavan with your ego, that will be enough.
The ego is the ‘I am the body’ idea.
Remove this idea and you shine as the Self.
That is the only thing you need to do in this life.
The various events of your life - all the things that are going to happen to you - they are all destined.
If you don’t want them to happen, they will still occur, even if you try to avoid them.
And if you want things that are not in your destiny, they won’t come to you.
There is no point worrying about the outer events of your life because you can exercise no control over these destined activities.
Your responsibility in this life is to see who you are, not to rewrite your life script.
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This Bhagavan you speak of is not a body, a person who existed at some time.
All is Bhagavan.
All is Ramana.
There can be no mistakes in following Bhagavan’s path because Bhagavan is like an eternal light that is always burning, a grace that is always giving.
To be aware of Bhagavan is to be aware of this inner truth.
If you are not aware of this Bhagavan, it is your responsibility, not his.
He is not hiding from you; you are hiding from him.
He does not think that he is separate from you. It is you who believe that you are separate from him.
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Q...................I am either hearing or feeling the aham sphurana. But always there is this desire to go deeper, to be feeling more peace, more bliss. I am not satisfied with the experience I am having. Is this desire to do more sadhana a good desire, or is it interfering with Self-awareness?
Annamalai Swami: Your ultimate need is to get established in the changeless peace of the Self.
For this you have to give up all thoughts.
If this has happened to you, nothing more is needed.
If you are in the real state, there will be no wants, no desire to push on to some other state.
In realisation there will be no desire for anything else, and no doubt about whether anything is needed.
This final state is just peace.
There are no desires and doubts there.
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Question: So there is no special method for diving within. It happens by itself. Is this true?
Annamalai Swami: It doesn’t happen by itself.
You have to go on making an effort until the point where you become totally effortless.
Up till that moment your effort is needed.
The mind only gets dissolved in the Self by constant practice.
At that moment the ‘I am the body’ idea disappears, just as darkness disappears when the sun rises.
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Ramana and other Gurus only show us the way. We have to walk on the path ourselves to realise the truth. If you want to go to America, having someone tell you where it is and how to get there will not magically transport you to that place. You have to go to the airport and get on the plane yourself. You have to carry out the instructions the Guru has given you until you realise the truth for yourself. Grace takes us to the Guru. Grace shows us the way home by guiding us in the right direction, but we still have to do the work ourselves.
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This current, this ‘I am’ consciousness, is present within all of us. It is not something special that devotees of one particular Guru have. It is our nature, and as such it is common to all.
But only a few souls are mature enough or ripe enough to be aware of it.
Though it is present within all of us, grace puts us in touch with it and gives us a taste of what it is like. And once that taste is there, the thirst to realise the Self follows.
Tayumanvar:
‘My Guru merely told me that I am consciousness.
Having heard this, I held onto consciousness.
What he told me was just one sentence, but I cannot describe the bliss I attained from holding onto that one simple sentence. Through that one sentence I attained a peace and a happiness that can never be explained in words.’
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Question: Why should I ask? Asking has not produced the right answer so far.
Annamalai Swami:
You should persist and not give up so easily.
When you intensely enquire ‘Who am I?’ the intensity of your enquiry takes you to the real Self.
It is not that you are asking the wrong question.
You seem to be lacking intensity in your enquiry.
You need a one-pointed determination to complete this enquiry properly.
Your real Self is not the body or the mind.
You will not reach the Self while thoughts are dwelling on anything that is connected with the body or the mind.
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Question: So it is the intensity of the enquiry that determines whether I succeed or not.
Annamalai Swami: Yes.
If enquiry into the Self is not taking place, thoughts will be on the body and the mind.
And while those thoughts are habitually there, there will be an underlying identification: ‘I am the body. I am the mind.’
This identification is something that happened at a particular point in time. It is not something that has always been there. And what comes in time also goes eventually, for nothing that exists in time is permanent. The Self, on the other hand, has always been there. It existed before the ideas about the body and the mind arose, and it will be there when they finally vanish. The Self always remains as it is: as peace, without birth, without death. Through the intensity of your enquiry you can claim that state as your own.
Enquire into the nature of the mind by asking, with one- pointed determination, ‘Who am I?’ Mind is illusory and non-existent, just as the snake that appears on the rope is illusory and non-existent. Dispel the illusion of the mind by intense enquiry and merge in the peace of the Self. That is what you are, and that is what you always have been.
Question: Has Swamiji realised the Self?
Annamalai Swami: Yes.
But this is sometimes a strange question to answer. It is like having somebody ask you if you have become a human being. You are always a human being. You didn’t have to do anything to accomplish it. You are self- evidently a human being, so much so, it is strange to field questions about it.
Question: It is not self-evident to me.
Annamalai Swami: Then find out who you are.
Question: How does one find out who one is?
Annamalai Swami: You will find out by constantly doing self¬ enquiry. Ask yourself, ‘Am I the body? Am I the mind?’ When self-enquiry is deepened, you understand who you are.
Question: How long did it take for Swamiji to find out?
Annamalai Swami: If one is mature, one can realise it in this moment.
If one is not mature one has to take up sadhana to make oneself receptive to the truth.
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Question: What happens in your deep sleep state? Is it the same as when you are awake?
Annamalai Swami: Yes.
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...............I feel a little confusion about the process and the technique of self-enquiry, so much so I have to go back to reading Ramana’s teachings on the subject again and again until the confusion leaves me. I would like Swami’s comments on this. I know that there is nothing new that he can say about it. I know that I have to continue with self-enquiry.
Annamalai Swami: Constant meditation is the only way.
If you bring the light into your room, the darkness immediately goes away. You have to see that the light is not put out. It has to be continuously burning so that there is no darkness.
Until you get firmly established in the Self, you have to continue with your meditation.
Doubts take possession of you only if you forget yourself.
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Question: My doubts are not my only problem. I find that my yearning for the Self is not very strong. This bothers me quite a lot.
Annamalai Swami: When you forget the state of being yourself, then is the time to enquire, ‘Who forgets the Self? Who is in doubt? Who is having the confusion?’ Enquire in this way. Discard all that is not you and come back to yourself.
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Annamalai Swami: If the intensity to know yourself is strong enough, the intensity of your yearning will take you to the Self.
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